Now I'm glad I did IB

I KNOW WHAT A WORKLOAD IS.

All our profs today were like "This is university guys, you might have three exams over two days, that's just how it is" and I was sitting there just laughing to myself like "Oh, prof, you can't scare me, I already had that three times plus five exams over the course of two days, with four of them being written on the same day." Granted, these exams are slightly more serious and take longer to write, but still. I know what it's like to be in the midst of a bunch of exams at once. It isn't fun, but you just power down, stay in every night and study, and make sure to eat well, drink water, and get enough sleep. That was my strategy for World Exams, although I did have this big ol' "Study schedule" which was way too intense. I ended up studying for one subject at a time, and not studying for any paper 3 topics until the night before (because really, that was all you could do). I think that worked better for me, but I know that I was studying way in advance, too- our teachers gave us past exams and there was review in the booklets and we were going over all our books in English- it was intense.

I feel... all over the place at the moment. Sometimes I'm scared and petrified, like this morning when I left math and promptly bought my textbook, only to walk out of the bookstore in shock because it was $130 and I've never spent that much money on any one item before in my life. Also, I was kind of lost in math today, and our online assignment doesn't make sense but we have until the 16th, so I figured there's no use stressing about it until our next math class when we learn a bit more and I have a bit more context. My prof is super great so far, and she clearly enjoys teaching which is always nice.

My bigger classes, too, weren't as intimidating as I first thought. If I sat in the front, I barely even remembered the 500 other kids behind me and it was fine. The girl next to me- we exchanged numbers and emails for notes- was also super nice, although I think I mentioned that in my last post. Chem I raced to and then I promptly got a seat right in the front row- good thing, too, because that prof is kinda quiet. The only problem is that where I have philosophy tomorrow is under construction and the prof hasn't posted anything about where we're supposed to go. I figure I can ask tomorrow- philosophy is my only class and it doesn't start until 2! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I mean that only applies for the next couple of weeks but whatever. I will appreciate it while I can.


I just... what I learned from IB is that I can handle it and that if I feel like crying I just need to stop and calm down and focus for a minute. When I organize my thoughts and sort out what I can and can't get done right away, I always feel a little better. Like today after my science classes I was all panicky and grumpy, but then I stopped to eat lunch and organize myself and realized that all I could really do at the moment was buy the rest of my books and go back to my apartment and get everything together. So that's what I did... albeit I did not get my chem lab manual because I stood in line for half an hour holding some really heavy books with a 15 minute walk in the hot sun looming ahead of me, so I kind of just thought "nah, I can get my chem lab manual tomorrow, I'm exhausted and hungry and just so done with being here today." Not to mention the bookstore bag sucked, so I had to carry my books as books or else the bag would have ripped.

I read some chem, wrote down my test dates, organized my room... I'm feeling pretty okay about life right now. Not to mention I got to go hang out with some of my roommate's friends for a while. They kept offering me alcohol, even when I explained that I was 17 and so legally couldn't drink, but I stuck to my guns and just had water. I've never had alcohol before and I didn't know anyone, so I didn't think that was a safe time to start drinking. It was pretty fun- they were playing Jenga, but every time you drew a block it had a game written on the bottom- most were drinking games. However, there was one block labelled "Santa" where you had to go and sit on someone's lap and I really didn't want to do that, so I left after a few rounds. Not to mention it was hella hot and sweaty in there and I needed a shower. Too bad one of my roommate's friends was actually kind of cute (this being a male friend, to clarify). He seems pretty smart, pretty... well, nerdy (like me- he said he didn't drink at all in high school until grad), and he was pretty quiet. I dunno. Right now obviously isn't the right time for me to date anyone (AS IF THAT WOULD EVEN HAPPEN HAHAHA) (I would date me. I am super fine. But for some reason I don't think I know anyone else who would date me) (FEMALE FRIENDS DO NOT COUNT) (ilu guys tho), but who says I can't have crushes on people? Crushes are fun. And nervewracking. And stupid. I love them. They're fantastic and horrible all at once.

ANYway... I'm going to try to watch an episode of Glee on Netflix and see how the internet responds. Away!

yer pal,
swegan :)