Ungh

DID I NOT LEARN ANYTHING FROM THIS CHEM EXAM WHY HAVE I NOT STUDIED FOR PHILOSOPHY YET SRSLY OMG

Speaking of chem, I may or may not have bawled like a two year old when I realized I forgot my ID today and thought I wouldn't be able to write my chem exam. Thank goodness for that old high school ID card in my backpack. Thank goodness for that girl who stopped me and suggested I ask the prof if I could use it. Thank goodness for my father who assured me that my response was based on emotions I was feeling at the time and was entirely valid and just THANK GOODNESS.

The exam itself wasn't too bad. Studying definitely paid off. I think I did well.

Of course now I have this dangblasted philosophy exam tomorrow and I'm not exactly sure how to feel about it. We don't get any practice questions. We don't get any practice exams. Our textbook is just readings. All I have to go on are those readings and my notes. I made notes on all the readings because my parents suggested it and I was like "gee duh why did I not think of that before" even though my notes on the readings may or may not have missed important bits... but I guess that's what my in-class notes are for, since I started taking them so as not to fall asleep/forget things. Anyway... I hate to say it and I hate to even think of doing it but if worst comes to worst (I'm 90% sure it's not "worse comes to worse") I can withdraw. If it turns out philosophy is crazy hard and I am worried about passing the final I'm guessing that a W on my transcript would look a hell of a lot better than an F. But I won't have to do that. I don't want to have to do that. I just want to pass the goddamned class and get the credits and not have to make them up later.

Also! Went to Careers fair today and HOLY BUTTS ENGINEERS HAVE GOT IT FUCKIN' MADE. Pretty much 70% of the booths there were looking for engineers- chemical, mechanical, it didn't matter. There were a couple for geophysicists. Some for people in chemistry. Some for people in physics. A few arts degree ones. And I think I saw maybe two for biology. The only conclusion I can come to is that a Biology degree is like the Fine Arts degree of the Science world: YOU HAVE TO FUCKING LOOK HARD FOR JOBS.
But of course I'm not going to go into chemistry or physics (unless I discover a genuine interest in them, and that does not seem likely right now) because I would just slog through it and hate everything and what's the point of doing that with my life? Ugh. No.
I suppose one way to get up on the engineers' level is if I went into medicine. That's something I could do with a biosci degree (and a shit ton of volunteering hours, an insane GPA, reference letters... med school looks hard you guys and besides I'm not super interested in medicine so...). But aside from that I really feel like I'm getting the useless science degree, that there's no jobs for science majors unless you're majoring in chem/physics/not biology.

This is reminiscent of what dad told me when I complained that the bio people had a building from the 70s while the astrophysicists and regular physicists get this nice shiny new building. "Nobody wants to give the biology people new labs to cut up their worms." The bio building isn't actually that bad (although it is very oddly designed and hard to get around in b/c ARCHITECT FIGHT); maybe that's just because I ACTUALLY LIKE BIOLOGY and thus the building does not seem sinister and depressing like the chem building (thank god my chem lab has windows. The windowless labs look like the place where happiness goes to die) (I shit you not I cannot stand the chem building everything is bricks) (It is unpleasant) (I HAD TO WALK THROUGH THE CHEM BUILDING AT NIGHT AND I SWEAR TO GOD THERE WERE MURDERERS IN THE SHADOWS OKAY I DO NOT LIKE THE CHEM BUILDING). The bio building seems welcoming and homey to me, like "ahh yes, this is where I belong." So does my bio lab. I guess the fact that I actually like my TA helps with that. Not that I dislike my chem TA, but... chemistry. *shudders* just, no.

WELL ANYWAY I need sleep b/c 8 AM bio lab that is all confusing and about necklaces...? yeah I should probably get some sleep.

yer pal,