ADULTHOOD

Hahaha jokes it's still two weeks to my birthday but I am living somewhat on my own now. Also my roommate went on a trip with the program she's in, so she's gone for the next few days and I have to tell you, I have really let myself go.

I mean not really but I just sort of came home and then went to safeway to buy some stuff I don't need and it's like what Vince put on fb the other day, you can eat literally whatever you want whenever. I also have the benefit of healthy meals being made for me downstairs- the meal plan here works so that you pay everything before hand, and then just come down and get your food, or make a lunch to go, or get leftovers put in the fridge for you for supper. It's great. And all the meals are usually well-balanced- grains, vegetables, and meat. I haven't been drinking as much milk as I should be b/c they only have 2% and there's a juice machine that sometimes has lemonade... and I like lemonade. Sadly all there is right now is OJ and apple juice but whatever. The point is, the food is good, and not just that, it's good for me. I have to keep asking for less, too; they're really eager to have kids eat here. Just this morning one of the chefs- she's always so friendly and happy to see me and it's really nice- said that my parents would say "What have you been feeding our daughter, she's so skinny!" because I only asked for two chocolate chip pancakes (with saskatoon berry sauce I AM LIVING THE GOOD LIFE YOU GUYS OMG) and a few pieces of bacon. The first few days here they just heaped on the food so I had to learn to ask for less, because whatever I don't eat gets thrown out and that just feels like such a waste. And they have apples and bananas to take whenever, which is great because I have a long-lasting love affair with apples. They're delicious and full of fibre and SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS I REALLY FUCKING LOVE APPLES OKAY.

So I have been snacking, but that's because I have weird lunch hours MWF b/c my bio lecture starts at noon and then I have class until 2 but after 2 is too late to eat lunch and so I have to eat at like 11:30 and then I'm starving when I get home and so I snack. On things like popcorn and crispy minis, though (I am under the impression that crispy minis are slightly less unhealthy, plus they taste like 10x more delicious so why wouldn't I buy them), although crispy minis come in such a small package that if you just sit there with the bag (instead of getting a bowl like me), you can easily eat the whole bag. Seriously, even when I have a bowl it turns out to be like half the bag. It's unfortunate but they're less than $3 at safeway so it's not like I'm overstepping my budget.

I have also tried to make one of those, except I didn't know how much to budget per month so I just guessed and then divided that up into four categories, with food being the largest even though most days the only food I'll eat outside of what they already make for me is like a granola bar or some popcorn. Oh, and hot chocolate, especially now that it's cold out. I left the building this morning and the first thing I thought was "I SHOULD HAVE WORN MY REAL JACKET AND ALSO SOME GLOVES AND MAYBE A SCARF" so I will keep that in mind for tomorrow. My problem is that I don't have a "it's just slightly cool out so like your thin sweater won't be enough but it's gonna be hot later so you don't want a big jacket to lug around" jacket... it's cold in the mornings and then when I walk home it's like 25 degrees and I'm sweating to death and then I have to come back and climb four flights of stairs because I am making myself climb the stairs except when I am having a bad day and don't feel like it/carrying many heavy, expensive textbooks and have been doing so for 6 blocks in the hot sun.

Thankfully the weather is getting more consistent- as in taking a jacket probably won't be a problem soon. Either way I have an 8 AM lab tomorrow and that's like not even an hour after the sun has risen (sunrises have gotten dramatically later... when I first got here, I'd wake up to them at 6:30, and now the sun doesn't come in my room until like 7:15 (so it's harder to get up, ugh), so I won't look that ridiculous for wearing a jacket.

Also I have gotten home and done absolutely sfa since I did so. I was like this all the time last year and it was a terrible habit but I can't seem to break it. I get all my work done, anyway. The strategy I've worked out thus far is that on Mondays I stress and do five million things and then on Tuesdays I do more like three million and then the rest of the week is just a little easier b/c I did so much stuff on Monday. Also I have like 0 homework time on tuesdays so having 5 million things to do isn't really an option.

I don't know, what do I even have to do? A chem question that will take literally like 2 minutes. Some chem reading, which is gradually starting to make more sense (especially now that I've figure out that chewing gum in class helps keep me awake... it's not that the teacher is boring, honestly, it's that THERE'S A REASON I'M NOT A CHEMISTRY MAJOR AND IT'S THAT CHEMISTRY REALLY DOESN'T INTEREST ME) (Seriously, I like math better than chem this year) (I bet you never thought you'd hear me say that). Some bio reading, which is all review of high school stuff and I actually do understand it. Updating some bio notes, which should take anywhere from 5-10 minutes. Reviewing some philosophy notes I took on readings. English reading stuff (ugh, we have to read Othello. By ourselves. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHAKESPEARE YOU GUYS HELP), but all the writing mechanics of that is stuff I already did...

Geez, I sound like one of those kids who's all "yeah, I already did that, it's pretty easy, really" and everyone hates them b/c they're such a show off but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I WROTE A 4000 RESEARCH PAPER LAST YEAR OKAY I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT sort of. It's nice because it helps make English a little easier. We went over thesis statements. "You can actually revise your thesis statement" says my English teacher. "God, don't remind me, I had to revise my thesis for my EE a zillion times last year before I could even write the thing," I think. I think I have like 3 different rough drafts of that again, starting over each time in a slightly different way before things worked. And then I had to edit the final draft. I think the final word count was 3919. And it's still very, very imperfect but honestly the deadline was there and it was mostly done and I got a C (which my supervisor later commented was "because of some formative assumptions" yeah you know what fuck you and your rainbow ideas of weapons (I cannot take credit for the rainbow ideas of weapons description of that teacher, btw) you asshole) which wasn't great but OH WELL THINGS ARE IN THE PAST NOW AND MY SUPERVISOR LIVES 6 HOURS AWAY AND I DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE TO HAVE ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE HE MADE ME FEEL GUILTY FOR MONTHS *skips away humming happily into field of clover*

Anyway yeah, my point was that I have been introduced to the idea of big scary papers. I am by no means an expert but I am at least already a novice.

I dunno. So I guess there isn't that much to do. And it's weird. I'm waiting for labs to heap on a ton of work, but honestly it doesn't look unbearable or anything. I'll manage. I managed last year, dammit, I can do it again.

Ooh, also, who wants to hear some excellent news? I was working on my math assignment today and managed to get 77% or something ALL BY MYSELF WITH NO HELP THAT IS A SOLID C+ RIGHT THERE FUCK YES so this is good b/c that assignment isn't even due until next friday. And I still have countless resources at my disposal, and I am using all of them. The math help room. Lucy, who is also taking the course & so has the same homework. Nice people who sit behind me in math, including Guy That Went To The Other High School In My City Whose Name I Don't Think I Ever Learned But He Seems Cool and That Guy Who Introduced Himself To Me On The First Day Whose Name I Can't Remember and Guy Who Was Sitting Next To Guy Who Introduced Himself On The First Day Who Also Introduced Himself And Whose Name I Can't Remember. The internet*3. My old notes which will be here next weekend (dad is coming up for some medical meeting thing YAY so what I miss my parents and maybe I skype them every night whatever my parents are cool man shut up).

Okay I should seriously go about other grownup things like eating dinner and doing homework.

BUT I'M NOT AN ACTUAL GROWNUP YET HAHAHAHA

yer pal,
swegan :)