I kind of feel like I'm doing everything wrong

I suppose it's only been three days but they have been a long three days filled with decent science and math lectures and one hell of a confusing philosophy lecture that would better be classified as a ramble. I don't know, philosophy looks interesting but if every class is like that last one I'm definitely not taking any more philosophy in the future.

And everyone keeps saying "meet your profs, meet your profs, MEET YOUR PROFS AND ASK THEM QUESTIONS" and here I am with NO QUESTIONS TO ASK so where the fuck does that leave me? It seems like everyone else has all these questions about university and the class and how things work and I feel like I'm doing just fine and I don't know what to do about it and HELP.

Everyone keeps saying "reference letters are important so meet your profs!" and I was thinking about med school a little bit, but then now that I know you need to have shitloads of volunteering hours and grades that are as unattainable as a 7 in IB, I'm seriously doubting whether or not I'd even get in. After multiple tries. I know my parents would be all "You can do it we believe in you YOU ARE SMART" but... I dunno. Working that hard to get into a place where you just have to work hard to get a job that is lots of hard work is starting to not sound like such a good idea anymore.

I know I'm panicking- I've only been at university for three days, for christ's sake. Friendships and success don't come to people in three days. Maybe in the future I will have questions for my profs. Maybe philosophy will get a little less confusing once I do the readings and have some idea what the prof is talking about. Maybe that girl who sits next to me in bio will become a good friend of mine. Maybe Lucy and I will have some classes together next semester. Maybe my roommate will become one of my new friends. Maybe I did pick the right major. Maybe I didn't, but I still know I love science and want to major in it, so at least I'm taking a lot of the basic courses I'd probably need for other degrees. Maybe (and I think this one is super likely) the experience of IB will turn out to be super helpful (it already is, actually. I know how to calm myself down and pace myself when it feels like I have too many things to do to possibly get done, I know how to stop and think and pick and choose the stuff I can do right now with the stuff I'll save for later and I know how to ask for help).

Although... a lot of people say to study abroad at least once in your life, and the university I'm at has this amazing campus in Italy. Italy! Amazing, am I right? Obviously I can't go this year- I have to get used to university first and over the homesickness and stuff. Maybe third year, or something. I think by then I'd have decided upon my major and minor and would be well-adjusted enough to study in a completely different country. It sounds like it would be such a fun experience and I would learn far more from it than just what was in my classes. This university I think also has a campus in Australia... which would also be cool, but I think my heart is set on Italy. Plus, I also want to go to northern Italy- just hearing the name "Piedmont-Sardinia" brings back memories of my IA in grade 11, when I would do hours of research just looking for that name in books from the library. And that was fucking hard. The university there has quite a large library and yet very few books that deal with the specific part of Italian history I was looking at. It was the same in grade 12. I had to get inter library loans to find books on Mussolini. It was awful.

UPDATE: Just read an article that says apparently re-reading notes, writing summaries, and highliting/underlining things (oh, and reading them aloud) isn't worth the time. Uh, well what am I supposed to do with my notes then? After math yesterday, I went and sat down and went over my notes again, jotting in things I hadn't had time to add in class, drawing arrows to connect stuff, and highlighting things I knew would be key for me to remember. Plus, on the back of my pages, I expanded on some concepts as the teacher had in class that again, I hadn't had time to write down. Now when I go back to look at those notes before next class I'll have a better idea of what we did, what we're doing next, and how it will connect. And when I go to study for a test, I'll often read things aloud to myself because it helps me focus and allows me to more easily put things in my own words. So yeah... that advice is shit, for me at least. I think going over notes briefly is a great way to keep up with class stuff (at least, so far).

I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M DOING FINE AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FLOUNDERING OR SOMETHING AS A BABY UNDERGRAD like no I'm fine okay jesus.

okay seriously though I should get something done.

yer pal,
swegan :)

p.s. I know these are all about university. Bear with me. I don't have a lot of friends in my immediate vicinity at the moment, so I don't tend to have a lot of wacky adventures and fun anymore. Also, university is occupying a lot of my brain like a giant elephant I can't get rid of, so I don't have time to think other thoughts and elaborate the way I know I used to on this blog. When I get used to this (which may or may not take a semester or maybe even a year), things will probably return (at least a little) to the way they used to be. Until then I am a baby undergrad, brand new to this shiny world of adulthood and yet more school.