Thursday, October 31, 2013

Okay but just

what is even happening

YES I AM STILL SUPER STRESSED OUT ABOUT MY PAPERS AND MY BIO LAB AND MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE BUT I JUST WENT ON A 1.5 HOUR WALK WITH A GUY WHO SAID, AND I QUOTE: "I hate it when reasonable ideologies like feminism get taken to extremes" AND I WAS JUST LIKE YES YOU THIS IS GOING TO BE A THING YOU RESPECT MY INTEREST IN FEMINISM YOU JUST EARNED 100000 POINTS IN YOUR FAVOUR also it is really shitty outside, like gray and depressing and cold and windy and the rain is blowing at an angle, and he still walked around with me. For an hour and a half. We walked down the same streets twice sometimes. At one point we sang a bit of "singin' in the rain" together. And just. We have the best conversations, I swear. We talk about everything and anything at all and he lets me blabber on for ages about stupid stuff and doesn't mind when I interrupt him at the end of a block to ask which way we should go next. I just like hanging out with him. A lot. And given the state of the weather today SHIT I STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR PARKING OOPS I SHOULD PROBABLY CALL and then I guess... then she'll know I tried to stop by a couple times. Anyway, as I was saying- given the state of the weather today, it's very clear that he really likes me if he was out with me in that weather for no reason at all. He also said he wanted to try and make my day less sucky (and I was pretty depressed earlier, so he succeeded) which was actually really sweet and just...

Earlier today I was mulling over the fact that the three guys who have liked me in my entire life have basically been the same: sweet boys who are really nerdy and have bad fashion sense. But I guess... it's the sweet part. It's the part where they can actually be really genuine people. Nerd was a really great person when I first met him, and he's still a pretty nice guy (albeit he can be a little condescending and kind of sexist... but he's still a nice person). It's the niceness that draws me in, the way I can have good conversations with people, the ways I can clearly tell that they like me. Suddenly his apparent lack of real pants and the fact that he's taking two classes (as if that's any way to figure out what you want to do (imo) (end sarcasm)) don't seem to matter as much. Plus he gave me a hug which I decided was a little bit awkwardly long but then decided was nice because I really needed a hug and also I think I actually like this guy, so..... not all bad, I suppose.

Funny because I was so blatantly against this a few weeks ago. WHY DOES MY MIND CHANGE SO QUICKLY? Ugh. Whatever. He's nice to me, we have great conversations, and he genuinely likes me. Like a lot. Like, it's actually pretty adorable and endearing. Like this might actually be a thing AND HE MIGHT ACTUALLY SING "Baby it's cold outside" WITH ME BECAUSE OF THE SINGING IN THE RAIN THING OMFG I WANT THAT TO HAPPEN SO MUCH THAT WOULD BE SO EPIC.

All I can think of now- with a smug little smirk on my face- is how much my parents would disapprove of all of this. But fuck that, it's my life, and if I want to let this become a thing, then I am allowed to let it become a thing. I'm a reasonable person, he's a reasonable person. The whole thing should be pretty darn reasonable. Plus at this point we're still at that stage where nothing is bad, and that's the best stage ever. PLUS HE IS UNDERSTANDING OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE A LOT TO DO and we end up seeing each other twice a week anyways.

ANYway I do have an essay to write. Actually, two. I think I should get some ideas going for my English essay, given that it's worth 50% of my grade...

yer pal,
swegan :)

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