On some level I do like being away from my parents though

Like because mom likes to mom me and that means her suggesting that I go out to the lounge in Earl's the first time I drink instead of a bar and she just... sometimes she has such horribly negative opinions on how a situation will turn out, like if I go out to a bar with my roommate and her friends no one will notice me and when I say "i don't feel good i want to go home" no one will pay attention and it's like THANK YOU, MOTHER, I AM SURE I WILL BE FUCKING FINE AND I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR OPTIMISM OR AT LEAST NOT PESSIMISM ON THE SUBJECT ALSO.
Jesus fucking christ. She tells me "well, you really shouldn't be doing that dear" every time we have a chat and it's like I don't want to share my life with her now because all she does is tell me what I should be doing and I'm like YOU KNOW WHAT MOM IT'S MY LIFE AND I AM ALLOWED TO MAKE DECISIONS NOW SO HAHAHAHA so if I decide to go out to a bar on my birthday weekend and it turns out to be shitty then it turns out to be shitty, the end. If I go out to Earl's, no one will want to come with me because it will not be anyone's idea of a good time and y'know, I don't give two shits about the alcohol, but I really just want to be out with people. So going to Earl's really doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

I mean obviously I don't really want to drink too much, but I think it's a good idea to see how alcohol affects me at some point. I don't like carbonation so I probably won't like beer, which I guess is a good thing because beer is holy hella calories and I'm just hoping they can respect that I don't want to get hammered, I don't want to get drunk, I don't want to get wasted. I'm just curious, is all. I want to test the waters or whatever. Besides, maybe I'll enjoy the bar scene. How do I even know? I can't hate on it until I've tried it.

I'm hoping to bring Lucy along b/c a) she is one of my best friends and I want to spend time with her, b) she probably will not drink very much either so hopefully the peer pressure won't get to either of us too much, and c) SHE IS AWESOME AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN LIKE AGES. Also she just doesn't seem like the party-er type either- we were both IB nerds back home so we both know how weird it is that everyone's so normal here.

OH ALSO the girl who sits next to me in bio showed up early today, and wished me happy birthday and then said we should go out drinking sometime, since we both can now and inside I was like "YAY DOES THIS MEAN WE ARE FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU ARE COOL AND ALSO YOU SHIP OUR BIO PROF AND TECH GUY WITH ME WHICH IS ALSO AWESOME" but I think it is a good sign, which makes me happy because we get along really well and she is, as aforementioned, pretty dang awesome. I mean, come on, shipping bio prof and tech guy is pretty odd. But that doesn't even matter. Today we discussed ways to get them back together- bio prof showed up looking so sad and we decided that they're not going to get back together on their own. Clearly we have to mess with his notes so that he has to call tech guy. I miss tech guy. I like bio, but the mid-class breaks b/c our prof uses Internet Explorer were nice. (I don't know why tech guy didn't just tell him "omg just use another browser"). ANYWAYS ONTO NORMAL PEOPLE THINGS HAHA.

As far as things go with cute boys, which is basically like in reverse, I am not sure what to make of cute guy who lives in the building and is friends with my roommate. I mean like, he seems okay, but I don't know if he thinks I'm creepy for friend-requesting him (which was, I realize now, not a good idea b/c I didn't know him), or b/c I'm too obvious (srsly I am not that obvious, I am a fully functioning normal human being around him I swear), or if he's just shy or weird or something. He doesn't talk much, but then out of the blue he'll ask me if I have any midterms when we have to ride the elevator together. I am confused. He is cute but there does not seem to be much more than that and the last time I liked a guy solely because he was cute and completely ignored other factors about him it did not turn out well for me so I think I'll set my sights elsewhere instead.

Also I talked to open studies guy yesterday, since he came and sat next to me before philosophy. He seems a little odd, but then so am I. He told me that open studies means he's limited to taking two classes, and he signed up for it b/c he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. My approach to that would have been to just pick a major at random and start taking things (which is kind of what I did)... it seems that taking two classes at a time is not conducive to helping you find what you like. But I can talk to him easily enough, so that's nice. Plus if I miss a class now I could probably ask for his notes or something- it's so good to have a friend in every class. (Well except chem. Sitting in the front row has interesting consequences). And I talked to the guy who sits next to me in English and simultaneously reminds me of 3 people at once. He's nice enough, and we both seem to have the same opinion on the assignments (pretty stupid but what can we do but write them) and just yeah.

ALSO MY MATH MIDTERM LOOKS HELLA SCARY YOU GUYS EVERY SINGLE QUESTION ON THE PRACTICE HAD A ROOT AND TRIGONOMETRY AND e AND A FRACTION AND I WAS LIKE OKAY SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS and then the girl who sits next to me in math doodled a girl checking her phone while an octopus-type-monster peered at her from around a corner. She labelled the monster as "midterm" and then above wrote "ignorance is bliss" b/c we had decided to just not look at the practice midterm and psyche ourselves out.

Wow okay I have to go my nails are super long and it's driving me insane. Also... 8 am lab. Ugh.

yer pal,
swegan :)

P.S. OH YEAH IT'S MY BIRTHDAY I AM AN ADULT NOW WOOO too bad I spent it all doing homework. Oh well.