MY EARS

jESUS FUCK BARS ARE LOUD WHOA

But I still had a lot of fun.

CONTEXT: Some people in the building (mostly people I met through my roommate) took me out to a couple of bars because my 18th was a couple days ago. They pre-drank and I'm pretty sure what I had was a cooler. It tasted like orange starburst and was pretty much the only drink I had- even though we played quarters (I think it was quarters? We were spinning quarters and slamming down beer cans anyway; it was fun) (and I was REALLY GOOD AT SPINNING THE QUARTERS YOU GUYS). Everyone else went through a few beers, and I took such tiny sips that I don't even think I finished my drink.
That was also fun because I was sitting straight across the table from Orchid and we kept glancing at each other and I was like BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE FUCK YES. I am done with trying to not like him, I have the most pathetic crush in the world. Although I do think I kind of managed to flirt a little bit, but that was later.

Lucy was supposed to come over, but she called almost as soon as I went down to join them in pre-drinking to say that she didn't think it was a good idea to go out onto the street we were going out on, that she didn't think it was safe for my first time, and that she didn't feel safe going. I was pretty upset by that, but she offered to take me out tomorrow or Sunday. I'm going to have to pass, because I don't think I can handle going out two nights in a row, and it was super not-cool of her to bail on me last minute. I mean, I realize I didn't really tell her where we were going until the last minute because I didn't even know until the last minute, but she still had like a whole hour to text and say "I don't think that's a good idea."

After that I called mom and had decided not to go out, but after playing some drinking games I was feeling a little less bummed out, so I did decide to go out. Of course mom made me tell her who I was going out with and where I was going and made me give her the number of one of the girls I was going out with and said if she didn't hear from me by one she was calling the police. It was ridiculous. I mean, I appreciate that mom cares about me and worries about me, but, y'know, I am legally an adult now. I could still recite the alphabet backwards without stopping- which I think qualifies me as totally sober enough to make the decision to go out. It's not like she was going to be able to stop me. It was kind of nice to think that.

Anyway, the first bar we went to the bouncer looked at my ID, then did a double take to make sure I was 18, and then wished me a happy birthday. The music in there was so loud omg, and eventually one of the girls I came in with told the bartender I was the DD and wanted a drink that wasn't alcoholic but looked like it was. I think what I got was a fake margarita, and it was disgusting- I shit you not, it tasted like vomit. One of the guys who came out- not orchid- downed the rest of it as we left. I told him later it was non-alcoholic, and he said he could guess.

We went to stand in line at another place after that- I tried to talk to Orchid as much as I could on these walks to places; he and I usually ended up walking behind the other three we went out with and he was tipsy so he talked more than usual. God, he's adorable when he's tipsy.
Anyway the second bar we went to we had to wait in line behind a group of like 10 smokers, but eventually we got in and sat down; the two guys played a few rounds of buck hunter, and then the girls took me to the dance floor. It was fun, although some drunk guy tried to hug me and was like "you know this song!" and so I pushed him off, and he looked at me awkwardly and then tried again, so one of the girls took my hand and spun me away. It was so... I don't know the word, clever maybe, what she did. I was impressed. Then later this extremely creepy guy in a suit jacket was staring at that same girl, and her friend had to spin her away, and then he kept staring at me and so I shook my head, but he just kept staring at me and I tried to zip up my coat, feeling uncomfortable (jesus I was in a pink Darth Vader t-shirt), so he started trying to button up his jacket, and eventually I convinced the girls that we had to move because I was seriously uncomfortable. I've never felt more like a piece of meat in my life, and even after I shook my head no at him! No means no, you fucking asshole.
He followed us over, but there were other people in the way. I think he may have tried to grope some girls after that, and then we had started talking to some also-drunk guy who seemed significantly less creepy, and then they walked me back over to where orchid and the other guy were sitting, and I sat there with them.
As that was happening, after the girls went back to dance, suddenly there were seven security guards pinning some guy to the floor in the middle of the bar. I didn't get a good look, but I saw a flash of his wrist and the suit jacket and I thought, oh my god, it's the creepy guy. Security escorted him out and I felt much better after that. Although the other guy (wow I feel bad not giving him or the girls a nickname- they'll probably get nicknames in the future, but right now I'm too tired to think of any) and orchid were super not-drunk-at-all, so they just kind of sat there and looked depressed. I tried not to look really creepy as I snuck un-subtle glances but god fucking damn you guys I told you this crush was pathetic. *buries head in hands* ugh. I try, I promise.
Shortly after that we went home, although the girls went back to the first place so I walked back with the two guys. We had a nice conversation, and I think I may have called orchid "adorable" at one point (he was telling us what he thought of canada as a kid, okay? It was adorable). I think that was the extent of me attempting to flirt.
THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT.

Anyway. Now I'm at home, ears feeling like they're full of cotton, stomach a bit sloshy, teeth freshly brushed to remove the taste of the non-alcoholic margarita. God, that was so gross.
And I don't know why, but I had so much fun. Just going out and being able to go out and order drinks if I wanted and drink if I wanted and just... it was so new for me and I was enthralled by all of it. It was a good time. Plus, now I'm not so scared of alcoholic bevarages (it seriously took me a half hour to work myself up to having the first sip. I'm not kidding you. I was petrified). Orchid did try to convince me to do a shot though- everyone was like "you're the birthday girl, you're allowed to be wasted!" and I was just like "yeah but this is my first time having alcohol so um yeah nope." They kept trying to devise plans to get me even a little tipsy. I don't even think I was buzzed. I felt so sober the whole time, although at the beginning of the night I felt proxy-drunk-- I was acting drunk even though I wasn't, because everyone else was (sort of).

I feel like such a young adult. Definitely won't be doing that tomorrow night, though. Or probably very frequently. I'll have to work my way up to having more alcohol (I do not want to get wasted. That does not sound like fun. I don't even want to be drunk. I think I'll settle for tipsy, just to see what it's like). I came home and drank an entire glass of water and had 2 advil, as per my dad's instructions. I feel fine now. A bit tired, a bit desperate, but fine. Seriously debating telling my roommate (crap I didn't give her a nickname either, I need to do that) (Lily maybe?) (i dunno) that I have the most pathetic crush in the world on Orchid, though. Although I'm not sure what she'd do about it. I'm afraid it would be weird. We'll see what happens.

All in all- a great adventure. I'm really glad I went out.

yer pal,
swegan :)