"You are not owed a world in which only beautiful people enter your view"

I got a little distracted on Sparknotes trying to review for English, and stumbled across this article: http://community.sparknotes.com/2013/10/14/auntie-sparknotes-is-it-common-courtesy-to-cover-my-eczema. It's very, very true, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is silly and conceited. People don't always look perfect and they certainly don't owe it to anyone to cover up their imperfections. People have acne and rashes and scars, and that's that. I know I've been guilty of thinking things like this, too, and it is truly not a good thing to do (and I have been trying to replace it by thinking three nice things about that person every time I think something bad about them (re: appearances), which really helps because it forces me to see the beauty in other people, rather than what's not perfect about them) (and to recognize that they are people too).

It resonated with me because of a conversation I had last year with a couple of friends in the cafeteria. They told me this little story of how "some fat girl was just in here wearing this tank top that was way too tight, and it just didn't look good on her, y'know, like you have to dress for your body", etc etc. At the time I think I agreed with them, which was heinous and wrong and don't agree with people when they say that, please. Because I went home and realized that, wait a minute, there's something wrong here.
When people say "Dress for your body shape" usually it means "dress in the most flattering way" which I'm guessing roughly translates to "dress in the way that makes you look skinniest" and there is just something so fucked up about that I can't even.

This little incident, I thought, related to this article/advice thing/whatever as well. You don't have to dress a certain way to please people that think that if you're not dressing to look your skinniest you're doing it wrong. There's nothing wrong with dressing that way, but there's nothing wrong with not dressing that way, either. You don't owe it to anyone to dress a certain way. And if anyone tries to tell you that someone else looks "disgusting" squeezing out of their tank top, you can tell them that actually it's none of their fucking business and that you hope they have a nice day.

Dress is complicated because there's still some occasions where that's not okay, i.e., business things, formal functions, etc. But in everyday life, who cares? I just hope that everyone dresses warmly enough for the weather, because that is a matter of health and wellness and not just appearance and so I am a stickler for it. I mean if you think you can handle wearing a miniskirt at this time of year this far North, I applaud you, but I am still going to question your judgement.

This isn't to say that you have to like how people dress, either. You're not obligated to do that. But don't judge them based on their appearance- hell, if I had just said "no" to Grag when he asked me out because he wears sweatpants LITERALLY ALL THE TIME, where would I be now? The important thing to remember is that there are people in those clothes who might actually become really good friends, or even more than good friends (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN') if you just ignore the fact that you think their wardrobe is horrible and get to know them. (On the other hand, they might also be people you will not get along with. Dress is not an indicator of compatibility). I am a firm believer in the idea that personality is what counts, and if things do work out, then you won't really care about what they look like because you'll know that within is this awesome person that you get to know and hang out with. It's fantastic.

yer pal,
swegan :)