Sometimes I forget that the majority of people in the world still believe in some kind of god

Sometimes I forget that when people say the word god, they actually mean something, when to me it's just a word that's tacked on at the end of "oh my" to form a common phrase. The word god doesn't mean anything to me, it doesn't hold any significance. And a lot of the time, I keep forgetting that the majority of the world is completely unlike that.
I'm not going to complain about it. Believe whatever you want, I don't care, whatever keeps you happy at night. I'm completely satisfied with the belief that I am a small speck in a big universe and I'm going to die someday and that will be the end of me, that I am in total control of my own life, that everyone else is also in total control of their lives, and that nothing other than that fact and the laws of physics which govern the universe cause anything to happen.

Of course, I get a nice little reminder when people on facebook post religious stuff. I saw this the other day, and at first it seemed okay, and then I kept reading. I really should have stopped:

"Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year, which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you.

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a nativity scene, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorist attacks, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what a bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

 — with Terry Reed."

*cracks knuckles* oh, where do I begin?

Oh, poor baby, you have atheism shoved down your throat? How about we don't have religion in public schools because not everyone believes it anymore? I'm not saying let's not have religious discussion in school- by all means, let's have a class that teaches about the various different religions in the world, their beliefs and practices, so that people can make up their own minds. What I'm against is people acting like atheism is wrong and being "shoved down their throats" and like atheism is the immoral thing that's causing all these bad things to happen.
Newsflash: school shootings don't happen because schools are secular. School shootings happen because of bad gun laws and people who somehow get it in their heads that shooting other people is okay. That has absolutely fucking nothing to do with your god. Nothing. LITERALLY NOTHING.
That's what I really hate about this, it implies that religion is the only way through which people can be moral. Second newsflash: I'm a moral person (according to societal standards), and guess what, I am totally not religious. WHOA HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?? Well, maybe it's because I'm a human being who was raised by human standards, by parents who raised me to be honest and kind, parents who raised me not to steal and hurt other people, simply because those things hurt other people, sometimes myself, and so I shouldn't do them because, at the bottom of it all, humans are social creatures who need to be able to live together to survive, so hurting each other isn't really in our best interests. The end.
Another bit I really hate is the "we aren't allowed to worship god." WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHO THE FUCK IS STOPPING YOU OH MY GOODNESS, all we are saying is that if you want your kids to learn the bible, don't make the school do it, because the school is where kids who come from families who don't follow the bible go too. Maybe those families believe in another holy book, or, like mine, no holy book at all. And, you know what, I actually have several bibles lying around the house because WE WERE FUCKING GIVEN BIBLES IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Don't even whine to me that public schools are completely atheist if I was given a fucking bible in a public school in Canada. That is such an absolute load of fucking crap.
And the whole thing is written under the bias of a person who believes that god exists, too. Third newsflash (have you been living under a rock?): there's actually no proof of that. No, literally. There's none. NONE. And don't try to use the bible argument. "Oh, well god exists because it says so in the bible." Who wrote the bible? "It is the word of god." So... to assume the bible is truth, one has to assume god exists, which is the only way to get proof that god exists (unless you're Descartes and you work out the causal principle, which can also be argued to be incorrect). That's a circular argument, that's a logical fallacy. I can't accept a deductive argument based on premises like that. If the premises aren't true, the conclusion isn't true.

Just. The whole thing. Pisses me off so much. People like this... I just don't understand how they function on a daily basis. You guys are aware that other people in the world believe other things, right? You can't change that. You can't do anything about it. There's lots of people who don't believe what you do, people like me even, who don't believe in any sort of higher power. How does that sit with you?
I have accepted that there are plenty of other people in the world who don't believe what I do, and I'm fine with it, so fine with it that often times I actually forget that that's the case. I don't have to prove my beliefs to anybody, I don't need them shoved down other people's throats and stuffed into the minds of children for me to be satisfied with them. I don't need to build buildings about it, I don't need to write books of crazy stories about it with a list of ironclad rules that have severe punishments. No, my belief is simple: I should be a good person because it is to the benefit of myself and to the benefit of those around me, often equally.
This is another part of religion I don't like; often times I've heard kids say things along the lines of "first comes god, then comes others, and then lastly, myself." That's just not healthy. There's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, looking out for yourself. Look after others, too, but for crying out loud, have some balance. Help people, but don't be afraid to help yourself, don't be afraid to ask for help. Just keep things balanced. That is all I can say.

I am just so sick and tired of being called immoral because I don't believe the same fairy tale that a large portion of the world believes. I think Miley Cyrus actually said something to this effect, something like "Going out doesn't make you a bad person, just like going to church doesn't make you a good person." Just because you're religious, doesn't automatically mean you are better and wiser and more moral than me. You are just another human being, just like me. Your beliefs do not make you better- likewise, they do not necessarily make you worse. However, there are some people in the world who do use their beliefs in such a way that I think it does make them worse, like those people who think that "religious freedom" means that their religion is the only way and that no others, like atheists, should have religious freedom- this has a lot to do with birth control in the states. If you don't like birth control, don't f*cking use it. But just because you don't like it doesn't mean you get to impose your way of life on other people. Sorry, sweetykins, that's not how the world works, and it's about time you grew up and realized that.

I do realize this post is pretty nasty and condescending, and I realize that I should be the bigger person, but sometimes that's really hard. Sometimes this happens.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who are religious and choose to go to church and read the bible and believe that jesus died for our sins. I do have something against people who judge me for not being religious and doing all that stuff that goes with it. If you want to quietly live out a religious life, go right ahead, just leave other people out of it when they ask, okay?

And for the love of the nonexistent god everyone seems to believe in, can you not pray for me? Seriously. I'm fine. I don't need it, it's really annoying and just kind of patronizing. Don't pray for the salvation of my soul. Just let me be. I don't need saving, thanks. I'm just fine.
Oh, and don't be that woman on Google+ who thought it was okay to tell me I was angry and confused and did need help. Don't try to tell others what they're feeling, k? K. All settled then.

yer pal,
swegan

CHRISTMAS PARTAY

but first GRAG REMINDS ME OF NILES SO HARD OMFG. I think it's the hair. Well, that, and sometimes the way he speaks. I dunno. It's like how my dad's cousin reminds me of Cameron Diaz, or how Zoey reminds me of Britney Spears (well, Britney Spears in like 2002). There is no explanation. There is just weird resemblance.

BUT BUT BUT he emailed me three times about three different things, one of which is this Christmas party that the students' union at our school apparently has. Since he volunteers, he gets to go, but he is also allowed one guest, and he invited me. :3 I should mention this is like, a fancy Christmas party with a theme, so I have to dress up, and EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FEELS SO ADULT OMFG IT IS WONDERFUL. The only problem now is that I don't actually have a dress that goes with the theme, but believe me, I'll sort something out. I have been freaking out about it all day. When I told my mother about it, she just said she hoped there would be no shenanigans, to which I responded: "Mom, if I say there won't be any shenanigans, there sure as hell won't be any shenanigans."
Can you wear a black dress to a Christmas party? Are these things adults are just supposed to know? FUCK WHAT IF HE WEARS A SUIT YOU GUYS AND HAS LIKE FUCKING DRESS SHOES AND EVERYTHING OMG I WILL LITERALLY DIE. It would be such a big jump from sweatpants and t-shirts and running shoes.

Now is when I realize I don't know how to hair, either. I guess if I can curl it somehow... I mean, I don't think Grag will really care what my hair looks like, but I care, and like 75% of every time I dress fancy is because I like dressing fancy. Also I think he mentioned this in part because I mentioned that I liked dressing fancy. He keeps doing that, remembering things I like. It's really sweet. I'm trying so hard to do the same thing back because I feel like that's how you show people you care about them. Or one way, anyway. However, so far I know very little about him other than that he does karate, is pretty nerdy (he plays dungeons and dragons, ergo, he is nerdy) (no like you can't dispute that with me that is how it is) (not that it's a bad thing), plays video games (sometimes??? I think??) and may or may not be a brony. Oh, and he's really good at philosophy. Well, I guess I know other things about him, too, but like... I don't really know what he likes. Geez. This is so hard.

Also I apologize for my entire blog being this lately but this does tend to happen. When I started university, this whole thing was university for like weeks and weeks, and I'm fairly certain this same thing that's happening right now may or may not have happened in grade nine. It's a good distraction from the fact that I'm about 8000 words behind on NaNo and have only written 3K today to catch up, which is just sad. Plus it was all dialogue, which I'm pretty proud of, but still. I wrote a scene. I can do better than that.
Also he's so f*cking sweet to me all the time I swear I'm going to get cavities if I don't talk about it.

But I did have a thought today, when I told mom about the guy who sits next to me in math and how his name is eerily similar to a history teacher I had in high school and she asked if he was cute-- I feel like my mother thinks that the guys that end up liking me are stereotypically attractive, and they never are. That's not to say they aren't attractive, just in different ways- this sounds really bad, but it's not, I swear- and I guess... I want to say my mom doesn't see that, but that's not quite it, either. I don't even think it's about that, it's about the fact that Grag is 22 and has basically done ... well, not a lot, since getting out of high school. I'm not going to lie and say that's attractive to me, either, but then again, it's not like it matters right now. I still think about middle school far more than I should, and that doesn't matter. I don't care if it's a stupid idea but right now I think, well, we get along, he's a good person, he's kind to me, and he's smart. I don't really see a need for much else. Well, he takes care of himself, too.
I think my mom... I think she just worries about me, but honestly I just wish she could be happy for me about this and then if it falls apart later, be sad with me. Literally everyone else I talk to is happy for me, even after I tell them what Grag is like (I feel so bad when people ask me if he's cute because... well, now I can say he's cute because he keeps doing all these fucking adorable things and just AUGH SO CUTE but as for the whole stereotypical-cute-boy thing, that's not really there for me), and the only person so far who's expressed such vehement disapproval is my mother. I can't even tell her that I think I can say we're dating now, because she'd protest it and it would just be depressing.

It's like, mother, you saw the guy I dated in high school, you saw how nerdy he was, how poorly he dressed, how not-stereotypical-cute-boy he was (I FEEL SO BAD SAYING THIS OMFG BUT PLS SAY YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I MEAN LIKE HOW IN BOOKS AND MOVIES THERE IS ALWAYS A CUTE GUY WHO IS ALSO SUPER NICE AND SMART AND YET IN REAL LIFE THAT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING COMPLEX AND BEAUTIFUL), and the only boy to like me before that also fits this category (although that was fifth grade and he wasn't very sweet, just awkward). I attract nerdy, sweet boys. That appears to be all. Probably a little because I'm a nerd myself. I don't attract the omfgsupercutewithperfecthair guys. I don't. And it's like you know what fine if that's how my life is going to be, that's really not that bad. It's not bad at all. It's not like I attract stupid asshole meanface boys, which would be far worse no matter how cute they were.

I just feel like saying "I care about what's on the inside" sounds way too corny and also way too not-humble like oh, look at me, look at how not-shallow I am. I am just as shallow as everyone else is- I mean, being physically attracted to people is important. But I think the thing is that physical attraction can grow out of just general attraction, but general attraction can't grow out of physical attraction alone, no matter how much 12-year-old-me may seem like a glaring counterexample. That wasn't general attraction. I don't know what that was. But trust me, it's way easier to become physically attracted to someone good (and I am using that term very vaguely here) than it is to someone bad. And I mean, everyone looks good when they dress up for something, so.... this should be a fun Christmas party.

I am just really hoping for dress shoes. You have no idea. What dress shoes. Do. To. My. Mind. (My sister earlier tonight said something funny along the lines of "well of course they do, everyone likes someone who dresses all fancy" or something- it was quite funny but I can't remember it now).

Oh god what if I actually suck at dancing OH NO.
No, no, I totally aced those dance units in gym in grades 9 and 10. I'll be fine... right? I mean obvi we won't be doing crazy country square dancing (which was so much fun tho actually) (I GOT TO DO THE ENTIRE GRADE 10 DANCE UNIT WITH NERD WHILE I WAS DATING HIM HOW DID WE HAVE SUCH GOOD LUCK OMFG) and it will probs be just as awkward as everyone else...

In case you couldn't tell by the length of this post, I'm a little nervous. And maybe just excited. Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

yer pal,
swegan :)

P.S. Hi Freckles. I know you are reading this, you little cupcake.

STRESS RELIEF

So I have joined an engineering project on campus that is hoping to send a satellite to space on this NASA rocket in 2015. I need a nickname for it, too, because I can't actually say the name of it b/c then it gives away more of my location than I'm comfortable with. I'm thinking Engineering Project of Awesome Space Stuff, which, shortened, is EPASS, which is fine with me because it's easy to remember. Anyway, I got put as an apprentice project manager (b/c none of the technical stuff interested me at all) AND IT IS SO MUCH FUN OMG

I mean yes, there's work involved, and the other apprentice pm and I actually still have to create a spreadsheet to keep track of bi-monthly expense reports (which we designed... sort of... we sort of just made it very similar to a template, and he did most of the work b/c I don't know how to use excel) and I will probably get asked to do a lot of editing (FINE BY ME I LOVE FIXING GRAMMAR) and stuff. I still feel like I could do a lot more than I do... and speaking of which, the operations manager just quit so they need someone to do that, and the pm suggested the other apprentice and I do it. To be honest it frightens me a little, but I figure I can at least go see what operations is about before I make up my mind.
Basically what I do is go and try to learn how to do stuff, which is hard, yeah, but it's never super overwhelming. I do actually have a bunch of stuff to read (I have to have a knowledge of the technical aspects of the satellite on some level), but then again, I also have this giant long-ass weekend coming up so... I'm planning on doing a lot of reading, let's just say that. My chem textbook is packed away in my suitcase and my bio textbook has an online version, and then I have to read and edit an essay for a peer review (my english essay is kind of terrible and worth half my grade, so we'll see what I get out of the peer review), and then I have a math assignment I could start.

SPEAKING OF MATH ASSIGNMENTS... at an EPASS meeting tonight, after we had finished (well it was actually like 90% him b/c I don't know how to bs that well like holy crap it was amazing) I mentioned that now I would go home and work on this math assignment I was probably going to fail. And then I spent the next hour and a half getting help on my math assignment from the pm and the systems engineer (they happen to live together, and meeting was at pm's apartment (super handy since I live super close)) and it was actually so helpful and they were like "this is so fun" like omg HOW IS THIS FUN THIS MATH ASSIGNMENT LITERALLY MADE ME CRY LAST NIGHT but now I actually have a much better understanding of everything and I am just so relieved- that's the stress relief. Tomorrow the only homework time I have is 2 hours between math and bio, and then I have to skip my chem lecture to get to the airport on time for my flight out to the CABIN where I will see my family again and also get to sleep in absolute silence (well, aside from the trains that go by across the lake sometimes) and also not have to wear real clothes. Pajamas all day, every day, hell yes. Also, video games. I CANNOT WAIT TO PLAY SIMS AGAIN AND STUFF AND ALSO JUST DANCE WOOOOO. And movies! And junk food, and board games, and walks and snow and I get to see Sadie and just SO EXCITED.

Also Grag was super sweet today, which he basically is every time I see him, and at the EPASS meeting I may or may not have accidentally called him my boyfriend (which the systems engineer then proceeded to bug me about, saying "Oh, no, you called him your boyfriend, that's adorable") (I should mention the systems engineer also said on my way out the door "Say hi to your sexy boyfriend for me!" and omfg just EPASS meetings are seriously the best I am not kidding). Up until this point I had just said "we're going out" which is partially because when I said "dating" my mother freaked out and was like "nonononono, you're not dating, keep your options open" (that is extremely paraphrased btw) and I was like mom I can only date one person at a time I can't "keep my options open" wtf.

Anyway we had a serious relationship discussion today (well for like three minutes) (it was beautiful I've never had a serious relationship discussion before) so maybe he is my boyfriend now. I don't know. Labels are confusing. WHATEVER. We haven't even held hands yet. How can he be my boyfriend if I haven't even held his hand?

Blugh. Whatever. I'm going to do something productive now.

It's been a good day. AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAD GOOD DAYS TOO because you sure as hell deserve it, every last one of you beautiful fairy snowflakes.

yer pal,

swegan :)

Can I just share some more cute with y'all tho

SO Grag (srsly new nickname HE NEEDS A NEW NICKNAME) does Karate a lot. Annnnnd yesterday he said apparently I have a standing invitation to the dojo (I really hope I'm spelling that right) just... to watch a class, I guess. He said, and I paraphrase: "Everyone's been all 'So, when are you gonna bring her here?' and I was like 'I... can... mention...it!'" DO YOU GUYS REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS
HE TALKS ABOUT ME
TO HIS KARATE FRIENDS
ENOUGH THAT THEY WANT TO MEET ME
OMG THO LIKE HOW ADORBS IS THAT
Also apparently even his sensei (I REALLY hope I'm spelling that right- I'm going off of all those years I spent playing Club Penguin here, you guys) knows, because he said that he would use Grag as target practice for the day (or something) if I showed up. So basically, I'd get to watch him get beat up. I was weirdly excited about that.

I AM JUST SO FLATTERED THAT HE TALKS ABOUT ME TO OTHER PEOPLE LIKE I AM JUST LIKE *skips along through a field of flowers holding a white wicker basket and singing "The Sound of Music"*

I mean obvi he is pretty adorbs in that way already: last Thursday I mentioned that I really like Dean Martin, and what did he say when I sat down by him outside the philosophy room yesterday? "I have Dean Martin songs stuck in my head."
Me: "Really? Why?"
Him: "I looked them up on the weekend."
Me: (inside head) YOU REMEMBERED HOW ARE YOU EVEN THIS ADORABLE THIS IS NOT OKAY AND YOU NEED TO STOP

Oh hey look it's 4:20. Hahahahaha 420.

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYWAY I should probably get back to things like writing my novel (as of now I am about 4445 words behind due to two days of not writing. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE 10K BY THE END OF TODAY I ONLY HAVE 5555 *ugly sobbing*

At least Aaron isn't shaping out to be a total butt. That's one of my MCs, btw. Also I have two characters named Anna and I'm not sure exactly how that happened. My other MC is named Emma because I seriously couldn't think of a better name okay whatever.

yer pal,
swegan :)

What are you talking about I'm doing stuff

NO I DIDN'T JUST EAT A BUNCH OF DILL PICKLE CHIPS WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I HAVE PERFECTLY HEALTHY EATING HABITS LIKE VEGETABLES, OR, YOU COULD SAY, VEGEATABLES
I'm sorry.

I also made this GIF because this is basically what I have been watching for the last hour instead of doing my chem problem set:

You're welcome
This show may or may not have made a Star Trek reference at one point. I am not even kidding. It was beautiful.
Ugh, I still have to go back to school for a meeting. UGH. UGH UGH UGH. MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE STAYED THERE AND STUDIED INSTEAD OF COMING HOME MAYBE THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE EATEN ALL THOSE CHIPS HAHAHAHAHA OOPS WHATEVER. Can't un-eat them now.

yer pal,
swegan :)

My essays are literally shit and my hair is greasy as fuck and my butt hurts from sitting

Every day I think, you need to get some exercise, you need to get up and go downstairs and run or something. But then I just sit around eating skittles all day. I did get a draft of my philosophy paper done, but it's absolute shit, and my English essay is turning into a bunch of BS. If I don't even believe that Raju is a con man trying desperately to find an identity, how am I supposed to argue that he is??? AUGH FUCK EVERYTHING

WHY IS THIS ENGLISH ESSAY WORTH HALF MY GRADE THAT IS NOT OKAY

Ugh. UGH. I'm sure I can at least pass it, which means I will pass English, which means that I will not have to take more than one other introductory English course. As it is I have to take that next year, since next semester the artsiest course I have is Women's Studies. But it's too soon to think about next semester.

Maybe I just feel bad about eating so many skittles. SO MANY FUCKING SKITTLES. Ugh. I feel so gross. Plus I'm supposed to be writing a novel this month! I have started that, btw, but I'm still behind on that right now. I mean it's going, and I like my MCs and they're fun to write, but just... I don't know.

Fine. FINE. I'M GOING DOWN FOR DINNER AND THEN I WILL FINISH HALF MY ENGLISH ESSAY DRAFT OR MAYBE ALL OF IT AND THEN TOMORROW I WILL EDIT THE EVER-LIVING FUCK OUT OF MY PHILOSOPHY PAPER SO THAT I CAN HOPEFULLY PASS AND DO MY CHEM PRE-LAB AND SOME MATH AND STUFF. My English draft, I have decided, will be edited, but it will still be shit. Then I will edit it over the course of two weeks and make it not-shit.

Please tell me other first years feel this way, too, that I'm not the only one who just sits around and does nothing. Everyone else is like "I like to go to the library to study" and "I studied for 4 hours" and "Yeah we hung out on the weekend" and "Yeah he's cute and he asked me out" AND THEN WE HAVE ME, WHO STAYS IN ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WEEKEND LONG (literally if it wasn't for Alberta-sat meetings and meals I wouldn't even leave this apartment, or probably my room), GETS ASKED OUT BY A GUY WHO IS SUPER NICE BUT NOT VERY CUTE (or ambitious, like srsly what are you doing with your life) (I will elaborate on this in a second), AND DOESN'T HAVE RIDICULOUS EXPECTATIONS OF GRADES.

Girl next to me outside bio class, talking to her friend: Yeah, I checked my mark, and it was 37/45, and I was like 'That's so bad!' but then I was like, well, this is university, it's going to be different.
Me: *checks mark*
Me: 38/45 is 84%
Me: That girl got 82% on her bio midterm
Me: HOW THE FUCK IS THAT BAD

It has come to my attention that people think anything below 90 is super terrible and I do not understand this at all. I have always been of the mindset that if I got 80 or higher on something, I was doing just fine and did not need to worry. 70-80 was still acceptable, although it meant I wasn't doing well in that class. Anything below 70 is a reality I haven't had to face yet and hopefully never will, but then again, who knows. And I have kept this philosophy, although 70-80 is slightly more acceptable now than it used to be. Like fuck, 77% on my first chem term exam? Dude chem is fucking hard, I will take that mark and run with it. AND 92 ON MY MATH MIDTERM MEANS I SHOULD SING IN GLORIOUS JOY, HOW DID I GET 92 ON MY MATH MIDTERM???
Actually I think I got 92 on my high school calc midterm as well. That's suspicious...

Anyway, dinner. First I should probably make my hair look less-like-shit. THESE SKITTLES ARE PUNISHING ME I FEEL SO ILL UGH.

yer disgruntled pal,
swegan :S

P.S. oh right, the grag thing. See, he's a pretty great person, but just... I feel like if we were to get serious (that sounds so funny omg), I would need to know he's actually going to do something with his life. Right now he's not even working, and he has literally two classes, volunteering commitments a few nights a week, and martial arts classes. That's it. My grandparents asked last night if he was working part-time ("Surely he must be" were my grandmother's exact words) and when I said no they looked so like... confused. Like "well why the hell are you going out with him then" confused.
Just. I feel like I can't be with someone in a serious relationship if they can't even take life seriously, just a little bit.
*points finger at self* YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB EITHER no, but I do have five classes and two labs and Alberta-sat commitments, thank you very much. Those keep me busy enough. Besides, I am working my way towards an actual degree with my university classes.

I'm not going to say what he's doing is wrong or bad or something. Just, it's really not attractive to me. But that's just me and that doesn't mean he should change. It just means that I might find it a leetle bit hard to form a real relationship.

THERE'S A NEW BARBIE MOVIE U GUISE

OMG I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOREVER

As we all know, I am secretly a 6 year old girl inside, and this is why I have a blatant love for Barbie movies. As such, I just spend an hour and a half watching "Barbie and her Sisters in a Pony Tale" AND OMFG IT WAS SO GOOD U GUISE.
Like okay first of all we have Kelly Sheridan voicing Barbie again, which is just the perfectest thing ever. And the animation style is similar to that perfect christmas one, but there's actually PLOT this time and just omg I love this movie. The villain, the plot, the horses, the humour, the snotty boys, it's just so perfect. Seriously. Even the music is perfect. The score at the end went so well.

And to anyone who thinks that my love for Barbie movies is weird, well, if adult men are allowed to like My Little Ponies (andimayormaynotknowsomeonewhoisintothatanditisalittlebitweird), then I am allowed to like Barbie movies. And people are allowed to like Disney movies even when they're adults, and they're allowed to like Disney princess movies, so you know what I'm going to like Barbie movies and dissect them with feminism and MAKE BAD POSTERS WITH SCREENSHOTS

FUCK YES

yer pal,
swegan :)