Thursday, May 21, 2015

Leave me alone

There is nothing more annoying to me than people trying to ask my opinion on something that has just blown me away. A movie, a book, a speech- if I'm staring into the distance silently and not talking to you, it is because I am trying to process. And I hate being around people when that happens.

Just- if I'm really quiet after something, and generally unresponsive, I'm thinking. I don't have an opinion to give yet, let me make one first. In general, the less I talk, the more I'm trying to appreciate something. This is why I refused to talk to friends on several school trips when we saw really amazing places- which of course made me come off like a dick, and for that, I'm sorry, I was just trying to absorb things. (This led to tudo stealing my very nice, brand new, probably expensive umbrella and using it as a cane, in an effort to get me to talk that was pretty fucking childish. Maybe it's stupid to get upset about nice things, but I don't like to wreck them, and that umbrella is now all scratched up at the top).

The reason for the post is having just watched Interstellar, which- wow. Mom kept trying to ask what I thought, and kept trying to talk to me, and dad knocked on my door to say goodnight, and I was just so angry- leave me alone, I am trying to think, but how can they know that, and I don't want to say anything because if I do I'll lose my train of thought. Words make it harder to appreciate stuff.

yer pal,
swegan

2 comments:

  1. I don't know if it's like this for you, but it's like I want people to sense my feelings like they do in movies: when there's this pregnant pause, and meaningful silences, and I can stare into the distance and think and they'll just understand. everything. me, and what I'm thinking about, and feel themselves what I'm experiencing.

    at least, I understand what you're talking about, even if I'm making no sense :)

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    Replies
    1. No I totally get you. It is really too bad movie moments don't seem to ever happen in real life...

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