Year in review

I know this is something you do in December, and TECHNICALLY I still have one exam left, but it's the kind of scenario where it's literally impossible for me to fail at this point (also impossible for me to get an A with the stupid grading scheme they use, which I swear is not the same as the other courses. Anyway, I decided to clean up my room a little, which takes way less time when I'm not at home because I don't have like long lost childhood art in here or like books of theory music that I can't bring myself to throw out yet because I put lots of effort into that. All I have in this room is whatever I came in with, and whatever I added in the course of a year. Also, realizing how much childhood crap I have in my room at home has led me to try to be LESS of a pack rat because I have realized that at some point I'm gonna have to take all my crap out of my room at home and that scares me because that's a lot of crap and I'm gonna have to throw stuff out and it's gonna make me emotional.

I'm just trying to think about what happened this year. I can't believe I've gone through two years of university. Also, it's been 10 years since I finished elementary school, which feels weird but also like it's been longer.

I guess I could start with courses. I took two genetics courses (one was technically still bio). I took Ochem I and II, and let me tell you, that was not fun. I took stats, which was gross but I passed. I took biochem, and two WGS courses, and two psych courses- which led me to realize that I hate psych and do not want to take any more psych courses ever again. But I got through all of them. I went to every single fucking lecture. So far in university, I've only ever skipped one lecture, and that was because there weren't any later flights home before thanksgiving. I'm sure my Chem 101 prof didn't notice and I still got a B+ in the course.

I have been out to probably two bars all year, and have consumed probably two alcoholic beverages total. So there's not much going in terms of partying. I joined my building's RA board and proceeded to do barely anything- I volunteered for the halloween party, was informed that I was no longer needed once I showed up, and then volunteered again for our end-of-year party last Friday, which was a total flop because no one came, but I still danced. So I've only embarrassed myself dancing once this year.

I kinda made two new friends via having them as lab partners (hello to one of them, who now knows about this blog and so I'm assuming will read this at one point). That was fun. As for the rest of my classes... I'm apparently bad at making friends. Carina and I are still friends, and she was trying to get us to branch out this year, but that didn't really happen because I'm a chicken and was like "why I already have friends" but that may not be entirely true. And I suppose I became better friends with the two girls I've roomed with, and I'm very sad that they won't be living here next year.

I attempted NaNo again. Only got 40K in and realized earlier this week when re-reading it that the characters are too much like me, to the point where I wrote actual conversations that I've only had in the last month (which is a little bit creepy). I haven't gotten much more into writing since then, but I want to at this point, and now I have another writing friend, which is having more of an effect on me than I originally expected. It's almost like knowing somebody who also enjoys it and will talk to me about it makes me think about it more or something. Currently working on that friend re: NaNo (by this I mean they are afraid to do it which is silly because it's fun and I will prove this somehow). We'll see how next year goes. And the summer too, I suppose.

I suppose Ptarckas and I have gotten closer, too. We have been dating for almost two years now, which feels like forever when you're not even 20. Still not really sure where that relationship is going (Ptarckas has expressed similar feelings on this), but I figure I'm still young so that's OK.

I've also gotten my finances in order, this semester especially. Which, ironically, helped me to stop the freshman 15 (which, yes, I now realize was completely harmless and not nearly as big of a deal as I made it out to be).

As for things outside of school... I'm still in EPASS, but I'm not really feeling like that's going anywhere. My role is extremely limited both by my lack of knowledge about anything related to space science and my unwillingness to learn anything about it. I mean, there are still things I could do, but I haven't really done them. I don't know what's going on with that. Then there's the RA board, which was interesting and well worth it despite the fact that I did very little. Also, I suppose, there were the dance lessons in the fall semester. Those were pretty fun and it was nice having something to do outside of school (with Ptarckas, no less). I also attempted to join a TRX class this semester but that fell through because of "low enrollment" unfortunately. Looking at doing some ballet classes next  year because what the hell, I need some interests outside of school and I am painfully shy and foot-dragging when it comes to getting involved in things.

Plus, there were just little things. I went to a french play with Carina early on in the fall. I understood none of the parts that weren't in English, and it was about alcoholics, so they poured water all over themselves all the time instead of drinking all that water, to mimic the drinking, so that was interesting. We also went to another play this semester, which was thankfully all in English and very well done (but very long, my god). I also went to a folk festival in my building which Ptarckas and his father were doing sound setup for, and that was far more interesting than I thought it would have been. Yesterday was probably the last time I went out and did something, going to the theme park with Ptarckas. I went on a big roller coaster for the first time. The theme park that comes through my hometown in the summer is what it sounds like- mobile- so they don't really do big roller coasters. We got one of the pictures from the "action camera" too, and that was fun to look at.

I just... I'm all mushy now. This all came from cleaning my room and finding little things I had forgotten about. I don't want to go home, especially given the suckiness of last summer, but I'm determined to make this summer not suck. I've just gotta do more stuff. I can't just come home at the end of every day and sit around on the computer. Also, hopefully the project I'm working on at the lab will let me be more involved. I get the feeling that last summer was extremely last minute and that's why I spent so much time doodling on filter paper and making blotting buffer and running endless protein gels. I learned a bunch of stuff, don't get me wrong, but I often found myself feeling useless and in the way. I just wanted something to do. And I guess I could try to do a little more travelling. Even just to some national parks near where I live, or back up here for a couple visits...

I do miss my home and my family and home food. I miss watching movies with my family and eating outside with my family and being at the cabin with my family. I miss the fast internet and how gigantic and comfy my bed is. I miss my little sister, adorable little cupcake that she is. I miss my friends whom I haven't seen (or talked to I AM VERY SORRY) in ages. I also miss summer, despite the fact that I have exactly 0 pairs of shorts that fit me. I miss the thunderstorms and the late sunsets and the campfires. I do not, however, miss the bugs, but I'll take what I can get.

All right. I probably should do some studying at some point. Also get out of this room... I have a bad habit of staying in here all day when I don't have anything to do.

yer pal,
swegan