The Pay Gap

What really bugs me is when people say "no it's not that women are paid less, women just choose to go into lower paying careers."

Okay, fine. Why do women choose that?

In a society that didn't influence people to choose a career based on their gender, you'd expect to see about equal numbers of men and women in high and low paying fields. And that would probably even out the pay gap a little bit. But you don't see that. And don't you dare tell me it's just "biology"- the existence of some men and some women in low and high paying positions, respectively, tells me that people are perfectly capable of performing either kind of work, regardless of their gender or sex.

So maybe women do get paid the same as their male counterparts, when you look at it individually. I can't know that for sure. But what I'm sure anyone can see is that engineering is still "a guy thing" while you see women majoring in arts classes all the time (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that based on my life experience, arts graduates make less than engineering graduates), and while female enrollment is increasing for medical school, you still don't see a lot of women in really technical fields like physics, computing, or math. Why is that? It's obviously not because women aren't smart enough, and if you try to tell me THAT, I will kick you in the shin. No. There's got to be some underlying reason why the numbers of men and women in fields like physics aren't equal.

And furthermore, if the numbers of men and women in those fields are equal, why aren't we talking about it?

I just find it hard to believe that the pay gap is solved by "people of different genders choose different career paths." That certain explains why the overall average for women might be lower than the overall average for men, but then you have to go deeper: why is that a fact?

I realize this post is limited because when I talk about high and low paying fields I am thinking in terms of university degrees. This is the environment I was raised in and it's extremely limited and obviously just one piece of a much larger puzzle. But it's all that I know, so it's all I feel I can contribute to the discussion. To talk of career paths that don't involve this would involve a lot of research for me which I currently don't have the time to do, since I'm lucky enough to be pursuing my own university education.

yer pal,
swegan

More abortion thoughts

ARE YOU SICK OF THESE YET
TOO BAD 'CAUSE I'VE GOT PLENTY OF 'EM

I don't understand why some people think that a woman's decision to abort should involve a man at all. I mean, it's one thing if she wants to involve her husband/partner/whatever, but it's another thing completely to just assume that the guy in the relationship has any right. She doesn't owe him a child. He doesn't get to say "No, you're going to have this kid because THEY HAVE MY DNA THEY ARE MY CHILD" Like no, fuck off, you are not the one who has to deal with nine months of pregnancy and the process of giving birth-- not to mention all the myriad complications that occur during pregnancy, during childbirth, and even after pregnancy is over (post-partum depression is very, very real).

However, I think it is a very different thing entirely for a man (or a trans person, I guess, who is still biologically male, because that could theoretically happen) to say to their female partner whom they have gotten pregnant "Look I understand that this is a difficult choice for you to make" (like if they are unmarried, or in a tricky financial situation, or she just isn't sure if she wants to be pregnant) (you know come to think of it this could theoretically also happen with a trans person who is biologically female so pardon my usage of stereotypical pronouns) "but I will be here to support you through all of it." That isn't demanding or controlling. But this person must also accept that she may say no, I'm not ready for this, I don't want to, etc, any number of reasons.

Just because someone gets pregnant doesn't mean they owe that person the burden of carrying to term, delivering, and then likely raising some kid (and yeah, that's a burden- I can acknowledge that plenty of people may love their children while at the same time being exhausted by them). I know plenty of people out there are sooo against abortion, too, which would probably make it hard for them to read this post without seething with fury (hey, this isn't even a stereotype- when I read anti-choice things I seethe with rage, too) (it's just that my rage is in favour of giving living persons bodily autonomy and stuff sooo). To those people, I deliver this line, which is totally not mine but is quoted from a commenter on a piece I read the other day (I'm sorry, I can't remember which piece it was or who the commenter was so if it looks familiar can someone identify it pls thx): "You don't have the right to life if it involves using another person's body in a way they do not consent to." It's such a brilliant line, and it covers all topics and issues. If I am dying and need some super specific organ that is non-vital (i.e. someone could give one up without dying themselves) to save my life and nobody consented to donating, they would have no choice but to let me go. Which is sad to think about, and I'm sure that wouldn't be the case, but hey, this is the world of Theoretically.

Let's add that to the list of Things Women Don't Ever Owe You: your biological child. This also ties in with all those lovely social stereotypes of "oh, you'll want kids someday" and "your clock is ticking" and "so when are you having a kid/more kids" and "oh mothers just love having children and having children is a SOURCE OF PURE JOY TO WOMEN ALWAYS" (as suicide is the number one cause of death for mothers in the first year after children are born, which tops all medical reasons put together) (cough cough).

yer pal,
swegan

I do apologize for how disorganized this post is. I've been feeling a bit disorganized lately. Also, I do not have a citation for that statistic as it was given to me by word of mouth; however, that mouth belonged to an ob/gyn who has been ob/gyn-ing for many years now and thus seems like a fairly good authority on the matter to me. But I mean hey, if you want to NOT believe me, I'm not gonna stop you. Also if you HAVE a citation... y'know, it'd be appreciated. Or a citation that says otherwise. YOU GET THE POINT.

When I say no, you say ok and walk away

I am tired of living in minor fear for being female. I am tired of being afraid of walking out to my car after dark to drive home in a neighbourhood with broken streetlights. I am tired of realizing I can't go outside once it gets dark out because I'm afraid of being followed, harrassed, or worse, assaulted. I'm tired of having to wait for the bus at university to take me 5 blocks at night because the 15 minute walk is too scary to take by myself. I'm tired of random guys on the bus continuing to talk to me when I'm very clearly on my phone and not interested. I'm tired of crossing the street a block down when I see a group of drunk men. I'm tired of not wanting to go back into bars to dance because of a guy that ogled me one time and made me feel like a piece of meat. I'm just really tired.

Someone on twitter said that people are using the #YesAllWomen to "talk about their feelings instead of mental health support and gun control." These aren't our feelings, these are our experiences. Plenty of women live in fear every day, and I am one of them. And I am expected to live in fear. My parents are afraid that because I believe in a world where I should be able to walk to safeway at 1 in the morning because of period cravings without fearing for my safety, that I will do so. Of course not. I hate that the world is this way, but until it changes, I feel like I must protect myself.

#YesAllWomen is so beautiful and great. It is about damn time feminism got into the mainstream. This isn't extremist, this isn't blaming men, this is saying "look, these are our problems, these are the things that are wrong, and everyone needs to know what they are so that we can fix them and fight them." This is awesome. This is the power of the internet. I love it. I love watching this trend, I love that it's popular. I love that this is the response to a violent misogynistic crime when the media says that this boy killed women because they didn't sleep with him.

I don't know how many times it bears repeating, but women do not owe men anything. We do not owe you our time, our attention, our smiles. We do not owe you "a chance", we do not owe you a date, we do not owe you sex, we do not owe you a yes. So when you ask somebody out and they say no, say ok and leave.

Look, I get it. Rejection sucks. It hurts. But people are going to reject you throughout your whole fucking life. People are going to say no. You have to learn to deal with it. And don't forget, people will accept you, too. And people rejecting you does not mean they deserve violence, hatred, or to die. Women saying no, I would not like to go on a date with you, means that they are not interested. Go home. Eat some ice cream, call your friends and get sympathy, take care of yourself.

And for all those crying "Men were murdered too!": I've come to understand that yes, they were, and that is horrible and tragic and sad. But the point is that this crime was specifically targeting women. The boy who killed these people posted very specific videos on youtube detailing exactly what he planned to do. It is very clear that he was targeting women because he felt that their rejection of him was an offense harsh enough to mean the end of their lives. He was raised in a culture where men grow up learning that they are entitled to women's bodies, to sex, to a "yes."

Do not tell me it is not all men that are this way. Of course it isn't. Nobody is saying that it is. That's the point of the hashtag- that while it's not all men that are horrible misogynists, it is all women who are affected by it.

My condolences to those who were affected by this tragedy at UCSB.

-swegan