More abortion thoughts

ARE YOU SICK OF THESE YET
TOO BAD 'CAUSE I'VE GOT PLENTY OF 'EM

I don't understand why some people think that a woman's decision to abort should involve a man at all. I mean, it's one thing if she wants to involve her husband/partner/whatever, but it's another thing completely to just assume that the guy in the relationship has any right. She doesn't owe him a child. He doesn't get to say "No, you're going to have this kid because THEY HAVE MY DNA THEY ARE MY CHILD" Like no, fuck off, you are not the one who has to deal with nine months of pregnancy and the process of giving birth-- not to mention all the myriad complications that occur during pregnancy, during childbirth, and even after pregnancy is over (post-partum depression is very, very real).

However, I think it is a very different thing entirely for a man (or a trans person, I guess, who is still biologically male, because that could theoretically happen) to say to their female partner whom they have gotten pregnant "Look I understand that this is a difficult choice for you to make" (like if they are unmarried, or in a tricky financial situation, or she just isn't sure if she wants to be pregnant) (you know come to think of it this could theoretically also happen with a trans person who is biologically female so pardon my usage of stereotypical pronouns) "but I will be here to support you through all of it." That isn't demanding or controlling. But this person must also accept that she may say no, I'm not ready for this, I don't want to, etc, any number of reasons.

Just because someone gets pregnant doesn't mean they owe that person the burden of carrying to term, delivering, and then likely raising some kid (and yeah, that's a burden- I can acknowledge that plenty of people may love their children while at the same time being exhausted by them). I know plenty of people out there are sooo against abortion, too, which would probably make it hard for them to read this post without seething with fury (hey, this isn't even a stereotype- when I read anti-choice things I seethe with rage, too) (it's just that my rage is in favour of giving living persons bodily autonomy and stuff sooo). To those people, I deliver this line, which is totally not mine but is quoted from a commenter on a piece I read the other day (I'm sorry, I can't remember which piece it was or who the commenter was so if it looks familiar can someone identify it pls thx): "You don't have the right to life if it involves using another person's body in a way they do not consent to." It's such a brilliant line, and it covers all topics and issues. If I am dying and need some super specific organ that is non-vital (i.e. someone could give one up without dying themselves) to save my life and nobody consented to donating, they would have no choice but to let me go. Which is sad to think about, and I'm sure that wouldn't be the case, but hey, this is the world of Theoretically.

Let's add that to the list of Things Women Don't Ever Owe You: your biological child. This also ties in with all those lovely social stereotypes of "oh, you'll want kids someday" and "your clock is ticking" and "so when are you having a kid/more kids" and "oh mothers just love having children and having children is a SOURCE OF PURE JOY TO WOMEN ALWAYS" (as suicide is the number one cause of death for mothers in the first year after children are born, which tops all medical reasons put together) (cough cough).

yer pal,
swegan

I do apologize for how disorganized this post is. I've been feeling a bit disorganized lately. Also, I do not have a citation for that statistic as it was given to me by word of mouth; however, that mouth belonged to an ob/gyn who has been ob/gyn-ing for many years now and thus seems like a fairly good authority on the matter to me. But I mean hey, if you want to NOT believe me, I'm not gonna stop you. Also if you HAVE a citation... y'know, it'd be appreciated. Or a citation that says otherwise. YOU GET THE POINT.