Since 2014 was kind of a blah year (school, work, 1 week of travel, more school, and I guess maintaining a relationship that was an ldr for 1/3 of the year), I kinda wanna try to make 2015 more exciting. Just by trying to do more than just school, work, and relationship.
1) Improve study habits. I feel as though more regular review might help me boost my GPA up 0.1 so that I can apply for more scholarships.
2) Improve spending habits. I just need a solid way to track them. Saving receipts and putting them in a spreadsheet is good for seeing what I've been doing, but not for seeing how I AM doing at any given moment in time.
3) Exercise more. Just, more. I have free Tuesday mornings this semester and I plan to try... THE GYM. I think my university has some kind of "workout buddies" program which appeals to me greatly. Also, I know this resolution is stereotypical, but I'm starting to see that if I want to continue to eat the way I do (which is really not that badly) then I have to do more than just walk to school every day.
4) Get a different summer job. I've been at the same place the last three years, and if that is the way the cookie crumbles I will go back there again. I just want some different experience, and to be honest, unless I work under somebody else, I've kind of done all the things there are to do there that I can do with my current knowledge.
5) STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK. Just the middle of the week. I figure this way I still get to enjoy delicious junk food, but not so often so I stop wasting so much money (seriously, this one is more financial than anything else).
6) Stop turning down invitations to go out.
That is really all I can think of. That, and the usual ones to attempt to be a kinder person and whatnot (I basically just make those every year).
We'll see how it goes. I predict 3 will be the most difficult to achieve. I do best with exercise when I have a class to go to rather than just relying on myself. In fact, I also learn better when I have a class to go to. If I've signed up for something that occurs at a regular time and place, especially when other people are showing up and expecting me too, I am like 5000X more likely to actually go. Which is why the workout buddies thing appeals to me: if someone else is counting on me to be their buddy, I am more likely to actually show up.
yer pal,
swegan
Showing posts with label can't think of all the labels i need so i won't add any. Show all posts
Showing posts with label can't think of all the labels i need so i won't add any. Show all posts
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Thursday, October 30, 2014
The Friend Zone is the creepiest fucking thing ever
I don't like the idea that when I send clear signals to a guy that I'm not interested, or show no interest in going out with him whatsoever, he could turn out to be a "But The Friendzone Is Real!" type. Like, yeah, sure, it sucks when someone you're interested in doesn't like you back, but that doesn't mean you should try harder to get them to like you. It means that they don't like you, and as much as that stings, you have to move on and respect their decision.
Instead you have a whole subculture of dudes who think that a woman saying "No, I don't want to go out with you" is just an excuse to pester her more until she "finally gives in", or to threaten her until she does (read: "but if someone had just gone out with him, he wouldn't have shot four people [or some other horrendous crime]!!!" This is bad for men, too- men are perfectly capable of handing rejection without killing or hurting people), which is obviously more dangerous.
Not only that, but you have a whole swack of movies in which people see someone (usually a girl, but I've seen it reversed) saying "no" as "I need to work harder to win them over." These kinds of movies make me really uncomfortable. You know the ones, where someone says to someone else that they're just friends or gives clear signals that they're not interested or starts getting interested in someone else and then FOR SOME REASON someone that rejected person looks up to tells them "Go, win [her] back/ Go win [her] over/ You've got to try harder." No, you don't, you've got to respect other people's decisions. (I put "her" in brackets b/c I'm sure I'll get blasted for implying this only happens to women in movies anyway).
This ties back into the whole victim-complex- "Other people must find me attractive and if they don't it's OPPRESSION!" thing that I've seen so many people play out on the internet. Does it suck if someone isn't attracted to you? Sure. Does that mean they are obligated to find you attractive? Absolutely fucking not. Nobody is obligated to be attracted to you, just like nobody is obligated to "give you a chance/date", just like nobody is obligated to give you ANYTHING in terms of a romantic relationship. And that ties further into consent and "But I bought her dinner/a present/a nice dress, she owes me sex!" fuckery.
AND GUESS WHAT, THIS ALSO TIES INTO THAT UCLA THING. That guy took his sense of "I don't know why you won't sleep with me" to a new level when he said "but I will punish you all for it." That is severely disturbing and obviously one of the more dangerous examples of where this whole thing can go, but it's still proof that this concept needs to die.
Furthermore, what's wrong with being friends with people? If you like the person, it might be a little awkward, sure, but if you really like them so much how bad will it be to have them around? Part of the reason I like my boyfriend is the same reason I like my friends: They're good people to be around and I'm happy when I'm with them. There's nothing wrong with having friends, and the highest form of relationship you can form with the opposite sex isn't necessarily a romantic one.
yer pal,
swegan :)
Instead you have a whole subculture of dudes who think that a woman saying "No, I don't want to go out with you" is just an excuse to pester her more until she "finally gives in", or to threaten her until she does (read: "but if someone had just gone out with him, he wouldn't have shot four people [or some other horrendous crime]!!!" This is bad for men, too- men are perfectly capable of handing rejection without killing or hurting people), which is obviously more dangerous.
Not only that, but you have a whole swack of movies in which people see someone (usually a girl, but I've seen it reversed) saying "no" as "I need to work harder to win them over." These kinds of movies make me really uncomfortable. You know the ones, where someone says to someone else that they're just friends or gives clear signals that they're not interested or starts getting interested in someone else and then FOR SOME REASON someone that rejected person looks up to tells them "Go, win [her] back/ Go win [her] over/ You've got to try harder." No, you don't, you've got to respect other people's decisions. (I put "her" in brackets b/c I'm sure I'll get blasted for implying this only happens to women in movies anyway).
This ties back into the whole victim-complex- "Other people must find me attractive and if they don't it's OPPRESSION!" thing that I've seen so many people play out on the internet. Does it suck if someone isn't attracted to you? Sure. Does that mean they are obligated to find you attractive? Absolutely fucking not. Nobody is obligated to be attracted to you, just like nobody is obligated to "give you a chance/date", just like nobody is obligated to give you ANYTHING in terms of a romantic relationship. And that ties further into consent and "But I bought her dinner/a present/a nice dress, she owes me sex!" fuckery.
AND GUESS WHAT, THIS ALSO TIES INTO THAT UCLA THING. That guy took his sense of "I don't know why you won't sleep with me" to a new level when he said "but I will punish you all for it." That is severely disturbing and obviously one of the more dangerous examples of where this whole thing can go, but it's still proof that this concept needs to die.
Furthermore, what's wrong with being friends with people? If you like the person, it might be a little awkward, sure, but if you really like them so much how bad will it be to have them around? Part of the reason I like my boyfriend is the same reason I like my friends: They're good people to be around and I'm happy when I'm with them. There's nothing wrong with having friends, and the highest form of relationship you can form with the opposite sex isn't necessarily a romantic one.
yer pal,
swegan :)
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Going out vs. staying in
So last night, my roommate and her friends all went out to the bar again. And what did I do? Stayed in, had a dance party (the people below me were out- I know b/c cute engineering guy lives in the apartment below me, although he was slightly less cute this morning when he was so hungover he could barely eat his breakfast. I mean go out and do whatever you want, I'm not one to tell you what to do, but that doesn't mean I find the idea of getting so wasted you don't remember how you got home appealing, nor do I like the idea of a hangover, and I would just rather go out sober and I don't understand why you did this and I just don't find it to be an attractive quality SO SUE ME), talked to Artifex over skype, and finished a book. I did kind of wish I could be out with everyone else, but from what I heard, they all got separated. I'm not entirely sure I want to roll with this crowd now... or at least, not go out as often as they do. I just want to hang out with people who don't think that every non-school night necessitates alcohol. But when they're not going out/getting drunk, they're all nice people and they're fun to hang out with. Given that I have like 1 friend in this city right now, I'm clinging to this. But I am not getting wasted, and I am not trying any beer. Beer is carbonated, and carbonation gives me calories. Also it's just gross. And I'm worried about my safety going out if everyone is drunk, not to mention it's harder to have a good time when you're the only one who's sober.
And now I've been inside all day (I am hanging out with Lucy later, thank god, I have to get out of here at least once per day I swear or else I go insane), did some philosophy (I am thinking I will always do the study questions, they help make everything make sense), and skyped with my little sister. And I have been on the internet, which is basically what I do with a lot of my free time. My roommate went for a run. She's... she had a bigger social life before university, she said she likes being busy and having stuff to do. I'm used to staying in and not doing anything- I like going out, but I prefer it to be sans alcohol and I don't understand why none of them are down for that.
I feel like on my birthday, like yay you want to take me out, thank you, but can I have some conditions since it's my birthday? Like for starters, nobody peer pressures me to drink. Drink if you want, I don't care, but I'm not having any. And also, don't bug me about leaving early. Or wanting cake. IS IT TOO MUCH TO WANT SOME FUCKING CAKE ON MY BIRTHDAY I THINK NOT. I'd rather just have a little gathering somewhere or go out to a restaurant or some shit. I don't really want to go out to the bar. And the best thing? To have someone be sober with me. I hate being the only sober person in a bunch of drunk people, and it also scares me a little bit. Drunk people can't walk home with me and provide safety in numbers- I firmly believe that me walking with a drunk person is the same as me walking home alone.
So. No alcohol for me, don't stay out too late, have some cake, and have a buddy. I doubt the last one will happen, but I'd get along without it.
What sucks though is the guy I have a crush on currently runs with this crowd and I just... I can't live like they do. I'm a nerd, I'm a geek, I'm kind of a loser, but that's okay. I like being this way, it's how I'm comfortable. But I like going out, too. I like dancing, I like loud music (not TOO loud, though, because I have this stupid ear that makes funny sounds and hurts if things get too loud), I like being out with people.
That's why I'm sad that I can't join the dance team- they practice when my night class is, and I don't want to stir things up by moving that class all of a sudden. This is my first semester. I just want to go with things. I know I'm supposed to take opportunities and go outside my comfort zone but fuck that, I'm in a new city living a new life. I want some fucking comfort.
I did find skating hours at the rink, which will only work twice a week, but it'll be winter eventually and then all these other rinks will be open (there are a LOT of rinks here) and I can go more frequently at times that fit my schedule better. I also can't go on Tuesdays once labs start- my labs go from 8-11 AM, and the skating hours are from 11-11:45 AM. I'd get maybe half an hour... okay so I could go. And I will. I love skating. I love the feeling of flying over the ice, the feel of skates on my feet, my hair flying behind me. It's as close to flying as I can get. Plus I love the smell of a skating rink. I don't know why. I just do. And then there's Amnesty international, which should be a fun thing to get involved in (it's as close to a feminist club as I could find- honest to god. No writing clubs, either.) (Plus, y'know, human rights are hella important), and this super-awesome space-exploration-technology club. It sounds... kind of technical (they build rockets and stuff and inside my head I was screaming I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT I AM NOT VERY TECHY AT ALL WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IN THIS CLUB HOLY SHIT) but I figure I do have to take some risks, and astrophysics/astronomy is something that really interests me.
I've been feeling bad about staying in, too, but to that I now say: Fuck this. This is my life now, I am out making it far more than I was in high school. The classes I take, what I major in, what I do with my life are all up to me. I am getting involved but I am not doing it everywhere. Next year I'll keep in mind not to take friggin' night classes, and I can always join the dance team then- it's not like it's going away. Plus I'll be better adjusted to university then.
And as for my staying in, well... what else was I supposed to do? I feel bad, like I'm forgetting something- IB guilt that haunts the recesses of my mind- but honestly I think that's just math, which I am going to try to do right now anyway.
Tonight I'll probably have a shower, and then watch "Miss Representation" (THIS IS ON CANADIAN NETFLIX HOLY SHIT YES I LIKE THIS!) and maybe read a book.
OOH SIDE NOTE: I have to say, out of all the book covers I've ever seen, the ones in the "Book of Ember" series are by far the most gorgeous. I love how simple they are, and yet the colours are so... just... everything about these covers is perfect. And the story, too- lord, the story. The characters. THE CHARACTERS. It's just so good. One of my favourite series of all time. I think it's described as science fiction for people who don't like science fiction, which is an excellent description. The movie really didn't do it enough justice. Please, read the books. They're so good. The Diamond of Darkhold is by far my favourite, but my favourite cover is The People of Sparks and just READ THEM PLS OMG.
yer pal,
swegan :)
And now I've been inside all day (I am hanging out with Lucy later, thank god, I have to get out of here at least once per day I swear or else I go insane), did some philosophy (I am thinking I will always do the study questions, they help make everything make sense), and skyped with my little sister. And I have been on the internet, which is basically what I do with a lot of my free time. My roommate went for a run. She's... she had a bigger social life before university, she said she likes being busy and having stuff to do. I'm used to staying in and not doing anything- I like going out, but I prefer it to be sans alcohol and I don't understand why none of them are down for that.
I feel like on my birthday, like yay you want to take me out, thank you, but can I have some conditions since it's my birthday? Like for starters, nobody peer pressures me to drink. Drink if you want, I don't care, but I'm not having any. And also, don't bug me about leaving early. Or wanting cake. IS IT TOO MUCH TO WANT SOME FUCKING CAKE ON MY BIRTHDAY I THINK NOT. I'd rather just have a little gathering somewhere or go out to a restaurant or some shit. I don't really want to go out to the bar. And the best thing? To have someone be sober with me. I hate being the only sober person in a bunch of drunk people, and it also scares me a little bit. Drunk people can't walk home with me and provide safety in numbers- I firmly believe that me walking with a drunk person is the same as me walking home alone.
So. No alcohol for me, don't stay out too late, have some cake, and have a buddy. I doubt the last one will happen, but I'd get along without it.
What sucks though is the guy I have a crush on currently runs with this crowd and I just... I can't live like they do. I'm a nerd, I'm a geek, I'm kind of a loser, but that's okay. I like being this way, it's how I'm comfortable. But I like going out, too. I like dancing, I like loud music (not TOO loud, though, because I have this stupid ear that makes funny sounds and hurts if things get too loud), I like being out with people.
That's why I'm sad that I can't join the dance team- they practice when my night class is, and I don't want to stir things up by moving that class all of a sudden. This is my first semester. I just want to go with things. I know I'm supposed to take opportunities and go outside my comfort zone but fuck that, I'm in a new city living a new life. I want some fucking comfort.
I did find skating hours at the rink, which will only work twice a week, but it'll be winter eventually and then all these other rinks will be open (there are a LOT of rinks here) and I can go more frequently at times that fit my schedule better. I also can't go on Tuesdays once labs start- my labs go from 8-11 AM, and the skating hours are from 11-11:45 AM. I'd get maybe half an hour... okay so I could go. And I will. I love skating. I love the feeling of flying over the ice, the feel of skates on my feet, my hair flying behind me. It's as close to flying as I can get. Plus I love the smell of a skating rink. I don't know why. I just do. And then there's Amnesty international, which should be a fun thing to get involved in (it's as close to a feminist club as I could find- honest to god. No writing clubs, either.) (Plus, y'know, human rights are hella important), and this super-awesome space-exploration-technology club. It sounds... kind of technical (they build rockets and stuff and inside my head I was screaming I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT I AM NOT VERY TECHY AT ALL WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IN THIS CLUB HOLY SHIT) but I figure I do have to take some risks, and astrophysics/astronomy is something that really interests me.
I've been feeling bad about staying in, too, but to that I now say: Fuck this. This is my life now, I am out making it far more than I was in high school. The classes I take, what I major in, what I do with my life are all up to me. I am getting involved but I am not doing it everywhere. Next year I'll keep in mind not to take friggin' night classes, and I can always join the dance team then- it's not like it's going away. Plus I'll be better adjusted to university then.
And as for my staying in, well... what else was I supposed to do? I feel bad, like I'm forgetting something- IB guilt that haunts the recesses of my mind- but honestly I think that's just math, which I am going to try to do right now anyway.
Tonight I'll probably have a shower, and then watch "Miss Representation" (THIS IS ON CANADIAN NETFLIX HOLY SHIT YES I LIKE THIS!) and maybe read a book.
OOH SIDE NOTE: I have to say, out of all the book covers I've ever seen, the ones in the "Book of Ember" series are by far the most gorgeous. I love how simple they are, and yet the colours are so... just... everything about these covers is perfect. And the story, too- lord, the story. The characters. THE CHARACTERS. It's just so good. One of my favourite series of all time. I think it's described as science fiction for people who don't like science fiction, which is an excellent description. The movie really didn't do it enough justice. Please, read the books. They're so good. The Diamond of Darkhold is by far my favourite, but my favourite cover is The People of Sparks and just READ THEM PLS OMG.
yer pal,
swegan :)
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