Look at me now

I have said it time and time and time again, I am so salty that mountain goats crave me, and I am finally proven FUCKING RIGHT.

I cannot tell you how many times I was rejected by professors and funding agencies because my GPA wasn't high enough. That was literally the only reason. Oh, that and the casual mental health discrimination (and this is from someone who, compared to others, barely suffered, suffered in a short-term way, and found a way out of it without professional help or drugs, and was never even officially diagnosed). That casual being asked why you are applying late, what exactly your "health crisis" was even when you let them know it's now well under control, all the way to that blatant "Are you depressed?" Which I shit you not I was asked by a prof once, while I was currently working for them. YOU CAN'T ASK PEOPLE THAT SHIT and it was clearly designed to weed me out.

After all that I ended up going back to a lab that knew how good I was, that knew all my experience and references and A+ grades in independent research courses meant something, that trusted me, supported me, and wants the best for my mental health... and now I'm in grad school, I'm in the process of transferring to a Ph.D, and I GOT THAT 4.0, BITCH!

Yes, this is because it's a thesis-based program, and I'm only required to take 2 courses, 1 at a time. But those courses are related to research, being a graduate student, and my subject area.... lo and behold, I'm good at this stuff, like really good at it. But being bad at chemistry, having tough-ass english profs, and struggling with mental health through a huge transition period meant being told that I was good but not good enough, that no one would give me money, that there was no proof I was a safe investment.

I feel really vindicated today. I'm in grad school and despite all the setback and struggles I am thriving, just like I told them all I would. I told them all I have an aptitude for this, I have people who will vouch for that, and grades that reflect my talent, and none of it was enough for them, because my GPA was 3.4.

I don't want to be petty, and I know they'll NEVER know, but... it is really nice to have proof that I was right, that my self-selling-pitch was on the money, that I know what I'm about and what I'm good at. I'm just glad I finally found my place, at least for now.

Y'all can call me Dr. Swegan in a few short years :P