I had a thought just now, reflecting on my time off social media. Something I remember being annoyed by on those platforms was the moral posturing. Maybe it was borne out of legitimate concern, but I can recall a loooot of instagram stories where people insinuated that if you weren't posting about a certain hot button issue, it meant you didn't care enough, or you were guilty of letting it drag on. As if by not posting photos that legitimately need a trigger warning on your story meant you didn't care about what was happening or want it to end. The worst was when people posted about a local political issue insinuating that people who agreed with the politician were the worst kinds of people- who weren't contributing well to our province. Some people even implied things would be better if those people died. I shared the opinion of that politician- even if I disagreed with the policy. But I learned there were a LOT of friends I had who thought the place we lived would be better if I wasn't part of it in one way or another. They didn't know I was included in that count, of course, and it made everything feel really fake. I knew I couldn't share that opinion- I've faced enough social cruelty and rejection for it already and didn't feel like piling on, nor did I feel like sabotaging my chances at a good job with coworkers now following me. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.
I do think the friends I had who were posting about these issues genuinely believed the things they said and supported the things they claimed to. I don't think they were lying to try and seem like good people. And yet, the entire thing came off very fake. I'm hardly the first to make the claim that social media turns the self into a commodity that must be advertised and marketed, but I could see it here even in circles of people with private instagram accounts. The goal wasn't to appear cool anymore, but to appear moral and virtuous. To have the right opinions, support the right causes, and say it all just loudly enough and share just enough petition and donation links to reassure everybody else that you cared. It was the "you can't be silent" of it all that got me, I think- the idea that every decision on social media was a branding decision, carefully thought out by a marketing team at an imaginary conference team in my head. That you should ascribe meaning to every move a person makes on social media, every post, every word. I thought we all agreed that we HATED that aspect of it and yet here was everyone around me sharing things that said otherwise- though perhaps I should have interpreted that as a conscious choice to make them seem like they had the right opinion on that too.
In that way I think social media does not bring us closer together or build communities. It sows distrust. You learn slowly that you must carefully cultivate your image in this permanent online world, and thus you conclude that everyone else is doing so as well. Then you wonder what everyone else isn't sharing, or is carefully editing out of their photos and captions and posts. You disagree with something and people who say those who disagree with that thing are awful people who don't belong in your community. What a way to build trust!
And of course these aren't new problems to human community. I saw all of these unfold in my fifth grade classroom. I'm sure everyone in a small town witnesses this daily. But the online, the forever, the permanence, the accessibility of it all is really adding a new dimension. It pushes you to post and share more and more, to keep up and maintain your image, even if you are like me and claim not to care. I have not felt a single iota of pressure to post about the hot button issue of the day (in just the approved format, of course, with the correct opinion) since I left social media. I might talk about it with friends, family, or colleagues, or I might just mull it over myself. I might seek out more information and context, or I might decide that I don't need to care about this. The truly great thing is- it's up to me, and people are not going to have time to care about whether or not I brought up whatever topic or issue or event in conversation if we don't talk to each other every day.
