Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Well,

sometimes I wish life was more predictable.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Not sure why I decided to isolate myself today.

Out of a long and angsty blog post way too boring and personal to post, this cheered me up in the end, on the list of things that made me happy because I eventually realized I needed to cheer up:

9. My chemistry teacher, because she sounds just like laser sword in the following video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QoFRNfIk60 That video actually just made me smile a whole bunch, so I'll stop here.

Yer pal,
swegan :)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Just a bit of stress

I hate having homework over Christmas break, because then I feel guilty for not doing it RIGHT NOW and having it done.
Mostly just that English Oral IB presentation that's eating away at me, though. Urgh. I don't want to do an English Oral IB presentation. I want to play with my computer. :P

Though I think Camp Lame-o 3 may be publishable. Now I just have to edit the other two into submission...

Would you read it?

Though obviously I cropped my name out; it was at the bottom and I'm not going to share that with the whole wide world.
Can I just say, the version of paint on Windows 7 is MUCH BETTER than the one on Windows XP? That's what this was created with. That, and my brain.
So. Based on this cover, would you read Camp Lame-o?
yer pal,
swegan :)
P.S. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

Friday, December 23, 2011

One non-Christmas thing

We had a presentation about IB world schools the other day. There's apparently 13 in different countries around the world- one in Victoria (Canada, yo!), one in Wales, one in Italy, one in Norway, and so on. It sounds like a neat idea- you go for grade 12 and your "gap year". The schools are really focused on getting kids involved in things, and there's lots of multiculturalism and you share a room with 4 other people and do more volunteering and stuff for CAS. The only bad part is you have to live away from home, and I just can't do that, so I'm not signing up. I'd like to, but it'd just be weird not to be here for my grade 12 year.
A couple of friends, though- a girl whom I have no nickname for, though she can sometimes be mean but I enjoy knowing her anyway because she's not mean in a bad way, if that makes sense... well, sometimes, but nevermind. The other friend who's thinking of going is tupperware.
That kind of makes me sad. Not to see tupperware next year? And what would happen to nerd? Those two are the best of friends- they have the same interests (video games, youtube, and other silly internet adventures of the like) and do stuff together all the time. They agree on lots of stuff and just generally... well, I can't explain it better than that.
So on one hand, I want tupperware to get in to a school because YAY FOR HIM that's awesome yay! but on the other hand, WE'LL MISS HIM. Or at least, nerd and I will.

I just can't imagine those two not having their nerd adventures together. I can't imagine how this would affect nerd (though he'd say he doesn't care, I'll bet, though really he's sad that his best friend is leaving), how different it'd be for the last year of high school.
Aw, darn. Now I'm getting all teary.
I hope he gets in anyways, because he could totally do it- smart kid. but not a total egghead either, which is not what the schools are looking for. Besides, the internet is a wonderful way to keep in touch with people ;D

-swegan :)

Oh, how I wish...

That tomorrow night, something magical would happen and the nutcracker on the mantel in the living room, the one with the sword and scabbard covered in little red rhinestones, would come to life to defeat the mice from the basement (I'm convinced there's still a few down there). I would wake up, and curiously head to the kitchen/ living room with a heavy book to attack a possible intruder with, and drop it in surprise. The King of all the mice, who ruled with an iron fist, would turn and see me in surprise. Being frightened (but trying mostly to seem clever), he would wave his sword at me, chant some magic words, and suddenly I would be small- nutcracker size. However, as the mouse was shrinking me, the nutcracker from the mantel got at him. He takes a near fatal wound close to his heart, and is immediately carried out by little medic mice, his loyal followers following him. The nutcracker would chase them under the TV cabinet, and then turn to me. "Come on," he'd say, and I'd follow.
Coming under the cabinet, we'd emerge in a land like Narnia but more magical. Mountains, with a castle in the distance, a great huge castle. The nutcracker would look dramatically into the distance, then continue walking. I'd keep up. "So," I'd eventually ask, "where is this place?" The nutcracker would stop suddenly, turn, and apologize for not having explained earlier. He'd slow his pace and explain that we were in the magical land of... well, I can't think of magical names. But the name of a magical land. He'd say the king of the mice had taken over using his dark powers, which he'd obtained from somewhere unknown, most likely from some traumatic experience he'd been through. And that is why the nutcracker is a nutcracker and not a person. However, there is one thing that can defeat the king of the mice; it has been foretold. However, the nutcracker doesn't know what it is. He had come to the real world in search of it but had found out that he was destined to be an inanimate object there until Christmas, the most magical time of the year.
We'd pass through village after village, all of them destroyed, and eventually find one deep in the woods, where a group of rebels live and take care of those who survive the pillages. There we'd meet the leaders of the resistance, who would have festive names like Major Mistletoe, because it's Christmas, after all. They'd see the nutcracker's scabbard and gasp in shock, because the sword within the scabbard is the one that can supposedly defeat all evil! However, it is missing a stone, a great big one in the middle, and nobody knows where to find it. So we all decide to set out on a big epic adventure to find the Sugarplum princess... yeah.

I'm sure you all know the story (I did use a few things from the movie Barbe in the Nutcracker, because I'm secretly 5 years old and love that movie). In the end, it would turn out that I'm the sugarplum princess, and I'd break the spell cast over the nutcracker, and he would turn out to be the prince, who had disappeared after his father's death. It turns out the death of the father was what gave the mouse great powers, because he was actually very close to the father and it broke his heart to see him die. Since his heart was so broken, any darkness in the land fled to it and filled him with it, so much that he became infused with great and terrible powers. And so on.

That's my favourite Christmas story, mostly because I wish I could go on a magical journey in a land I've never been before to defeat evil and find myself a true princess and marry a prince and all that.
Though I guess, as far as princes go, I've got my nerd. And he's pretty great. I don't mean to stray from the magical-ness of this post, but today in "math" (We had 30 minute classes in which we accomplished nothing) I sat on his lap for a little bit (I can't remember why anymore) and during that time, he kept chuckling in that little contented way of his that lets me know he's really happy and content. Which was very cute. I mean, he was basically content to have me there. :) I think he's a keeper.

Anyway. Even if I can't be the Sugarplum princess, I'd like to be able to have that dream. Though I know I never will, because my dreams are always scary and weird and don't make any sense at all. But still, a girl can daydream ;)

yer (sugarplum) pal,
swegan :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I'm writing again.

Sally is the kick-ass female character in my story who still manages to be AWESOME.
Rhys is her twin brother and the voice of reason every reader wishes was in really cheesy stories.
Tupperware is the swordfighting-right-hand-man of the king, whom Sally is secretly in love with.
Bethany is the elf placed on the doorstep of the kingdom and raised there ever since.

And then I threw in some unicorns. The end

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I DARE YOU

1. Go to Google Maps
2. Click on "get directions"
3. In "A", type "the shire"
4. In "B", type "mordor"
5. Click on "walking directions"
6. Laugh ass off*

*Note: Only those who have seen LOTR will understand this.

This is just fucking great.

I had a whole post. And it just deleted itself all, quite randomly.

So I'll just say today I feel like my head is full of air and I have no motivation. I am a huge fail, I just found out Nerd got a gift for me and i don't have anything for him and he just keeps saying he doesn't need one when I ask him what he wants.

Some days, it's really hard to be an optimist. especially when your english final is hard, when you've done the same kind of thing five million times and it's been easy before. especially when chemistry, the one nice class I can rely on to make sense, stops making sense. especially when i get mouthy and overconfident on my biology exam. especially when math makes less sense than ever.

I wish I was somewhere else.

That awkward moment when...

...you confuse Biuret's solution with Benedict's solution on your Biology 20IB exam and give an answer that is condescending. And realize that your biology teacher will pick on you in front of the entire class now. :\

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Metaphors

People who have easy classes say, "I sure like sailing." They are enjoying themselves on a sunny day on the waves.
People who don't even try in school say, "Swimming's more fun anyways." Their boat is pretty much sunk.
People who try in school say, "Get more buckets, we need to bail this water." Their boat has a tiny crack but since they're working to remove it, it doesn't affect them much except for now and then.
People in full IB don't say anything because they're too busy throwing buckets of water over the edge though really the boat is half-sunk anyways. They're missing a whole plank of the bottom.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I know this is mean, but...

...if you ever want to feel better about yourself, watch one of those "Real Housewives" shows. Because I did, and now I feel WAY better about myself. At least I don't have that horrendous amount of cleavage, at least I know my friendships are real, at least I know my relationship isn't fake and made of fluff and that it's going to last at least a little longer. At least I'm going to school and I don't just sit around all day raising whiny children and bitching about other people behind their backs. At least I am a respectable, normal person, who is a healthy weight and is surrounded by people who care about her. I'm not anorexic or way too thin like those women on the TV.

One of them was actually a pretty good weight, unlike the others, who are just stick-figured-big-chested-fake-people. And my sister thought she was overweight because maybe her skin was bulging under her sweater. But barely. She's a normal weight. She didn't have skeletal arms. And it bothered me that my sister thought she was overweight. She definitely wasn't, not a bit.
No, they're real people. Their emotions and troubles and lives just seem so... petty. Stupid.

I DRINK MY MILK, and I know that those commercials that say "eat what you love, but without the calories!" are lying. You can eat what you love. You just have to eat it in moderation. I have dessert every day, and look at me! I'm perfectly normal and healthy. I have strong bones and strong muscles from years of dancing. I don't starve myself or eat fake desserts with 50 calories and then maybe a salad or two the rest of the time.
If you really want to be healthy, EAT REAL FOOD. That's all I can say :P

But my advice still stands: those shows, when you know how to interpret them, are a really good self esteem boost!

yer pal,
swegan :)

Every day:

Today a kid walked by. He was swearing at some girl, saying she'd better "fucking get his honey", whatever that means. I assumed he meant drugs. Every other word out of his mouth was pretty much the word "fuck(ing)". So I made a little speech to him that he didn't hear:
"Wow, every other word out of your mouth is fuck. And you're probably talking about drugs. I bet you'll grow and be an abusive partner, drink a lot, do drugs, and eventually die as a young adult from an overdose or a car accident. I, on the other hand, will grow up, get a job, raise kids. So both of our lives are pretty boring and stupid, really. It's just that you did everything wrong, and I did everything right. Either way, you're screwed, I guess."

This is what a semester of full IB and doing the same thing daily will do to you. Every day is exactly the same. Exactly the same. Exactly the same. Perhaps not fully exactly as the word entails, but you get my point.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
Every day is the same.
I need a vacation.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Today:

I walk into advisor, check my name off in the "13" column, then pause. "What day is it?" I ask some random kid next to me.
"It's the fourteenth," he says. I laugh.
"Wow," I reply. "That's a fail. I don't even know what day it is."
The kid didn't respond. I doubt he was even listening.

I don't know why this sums up today. It just does. Dizzy, tired, done.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I don't know.

I do know I hate homework, that biology would be way more fun if it wasn't so disorganized, that I aced my math test today but that I inevitably won't get 100, as per usual, that the essay I just wrote was terrible, that I should go to bed, and that I need a vacation. I also know that when people say they need a vacation usually it's someone full of themselves. But I am not kidding. And I will be pissed to high hell if my biology teacher assigns the last chapter of our whole curriculum to do over christmas break. I do know that's not okay, that Christmas break is a chance for people to relax and not get new work, and that my other teachers would never assign homework over christmas break.

I don't know if I'm really a good person, but I've vowed never to be mean to the girl everybody calls dumb (even though usually it's her friends that do that to an extreme level), even if it doesn't look like she's hurting. I don't know what other people think of me, but I know I seem to get along with them fairly well. I don't know what's running through the head of a teenage boy, but I do know that it can't possibly ALL be what's coming out of their mouths. I know there has to be a real person in there somewhere, if I just keep chipping away...

I know I should be in bed. I know I should have worked on my chem labs instead of having a two hour random talk with mom. I know I should just get the volunteer thing submitted.

I know that I'm excited I get to drive on my own soon, thanks to the fact that my grandparents gave us their old car :D

And I know it's freezing in this house, otherwise why would I be shivering and why else would my feet be numb?

I don't know what you guys keep your houses at. Ours is 70 Fahrenheit (I wish it was in Celsius. I don't understand Fahrenheit). On weird, badly programmed days, I know it's 64. Which is the sort of temperature where I know I'm going to need double pants, shirts, socks- everything- to feel warm.

I know my boyfriend and I have been having a whole bunch of miscommunications lately, but I know we're working through that and trying to be nicer to each other. I know he listens to me when I ask him to stop doing something that I don't like, like talking to me in a condescending manner.

I do know we're not getting each other gifts for christmas, even if my guy friend that started dating one of my girl friends is doing so. I feel like if I could get alone with mr. nerd to, say, watch a movie with him and him alone, that would be more than enough.

I feel like I should go to bed. :\

Goodnight!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Jealousy :(

I know I really should not be jealous and this really should not bug me. However, when your boyfriend puts a <3 at the end of a comment on youtube to some other girl whom he's known longer than you, it does kind of get under your skin. Even if it's just 'cause he's trying to be friendly as he's correcting them, and because he's good friends with this girl. Even if she posts all over his channel "love you" in a joking way....

Okay, no, this really pisses me off. I could handle it just fine when it was just her posting this stuff. She lives in england or something anyway, and I know there's nothing there. But she's the one that he plays minecraft and all his other nerd games with. just... rrrg. I realize that I am the one he is dating, but still... somehow, that heart seemed unnecessary. And the worst part is there's no way I'm telling him about this. I don't want to be seen as jealous. But it still bugs me.

Thank goodness she doesn't even live remotely near here. But still... they're friends... last time I checked, friends don't send hearts to other friends of the opposite gender when they are heterosexual. If it's two girls, then yeah, I get that, girls are all cutesy today with their friendships. But, um... this is different, right? AAAAAARGH.

Does anyone think I have a right to be jealous? Or is this just something I should ignore?
I just think that if someone's going to be in a relationship with me, they're going to only do cutesy relationship stuff with me, as I'm the one they are in a relationship with. Aside from that, I don't care who else they're friends with (unless it is someone very dangerous, etc). I think that makes sense. I'm a monogamous person. And this BOTHERS ME TO THE NTH DEGREE.

yer troubled pal,
swegan :)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

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Dear Parents:
Do you know how annoying it is when I say, "Someday after I have already established myself with a secure job and I have spare time, I will get my PhD in Creative Writing?" and you respond with, "Why?"
Don't you realize that the part about the secure job is what I'm hoping will make you happy? That I'm hoping you'll be proud of me for being practical first and then doing what I want? I'm trying to show you've raised me well. But all you can say is, "You don't need a degree in Creative Writing to write. You can just write. Why would you waste your time getting a degree in that?"
Gosh darn and golly gee, has it EVER occurred to you that maybe I just WANT to get a big fancy degree in Creative Writing for the fun of it? Because it's something I'm good at and I enjoy and I want to better myself at it? You say I should be a doctor because I can. Because I am capable. Well, I'm capable of doing this, too. So why are you shooting it down?
I don't have to be practical all the time. I can be impractical when I want to, as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. Sometimes being impractical is fun. What's wrong with having a little harmless fun?
Why can't you be supportive of me even when I make you happy?

That's it. I'm growing up to become a forest manager who goes camping in the woods to count pine beetles on trees, just to spite you. Because you know what? I am sick and tired of this. Don't even try to say you're not telling me that I should only be a doctor: you are. You have shot down every single job Freckles and I have ever brought up that isn't something prestigious where we'll make lots of money. I know you only want the best, I get that. But isn't the best thing for your kids that they're happy and they're not homeless?

And besides, managing a forest sounds like fun. I mean, I've probably got the job description wrong, but so what? I'm not you. I'm not going to grow up to be what you want. So you can either love me or love me and support me.

You can be sure of one thing: I am never going to do this to my kids. I am going to tell them the positive and negative bits of the job, not focus on the bad ones. I'm not going to say you should be this this this all the time. I'm going to be able to deal with the fact that yes, I'm wrong sometimes. Even though right now, it just seems like I'm wrong a hell of a lot and that makes me look really stupid.

Sincerely,
Swegan

Monday, December 5, 2011

Just keep going.

I miss her, yes, but everyone at school has been so lovely and so sympathetic and has given me lots of hugs. And that helps. A lot. Besides, she had so much personality that she's still here, she'll always be here.
I love my Mandy.

In other words, today I asked nerd if he was proud of the fact that we've been together for 9 months today (or something like that). he said, and i quote, "meh." boys. what ever shall we do with them?
all i can say is i better get more than a "meh" on the one year mark. as in a "yeah, this is pretty awesome" and then a hug or something. coming from him, that's excellent. Not that he's lazy, hell no. but just... very laid back. in a good way. even though he's a nerd. oh, i'm not making any sense.

Fex's dog went missing, but they found him, hooray! :D

And one thing I've learned about myself recently? I hate schedules. Hate them. Well, i guess not entirely, sometimes it is nice to know exactly what you're doing and when. I just don't schedule my time. That's probably why i keep taking showers at 11 at night and making lunches in the morning. either that, or i'm using a clever teenage way to say "i am a bit of a procrastinator". but hey, i still have everything done and i like to get stuff done in advance.

lately, though, i just can't focus on math. It's just one of those blah units where i have to think about every question just enough to bore me. not that i don't like thinking, i just don't like thinking about math.

geez, it's cold in this room. my room epitomizes that katy perry song. it's hot, and then it's cold. ALWAYS. Though in summer, i have to admit the coolness IS very nice.

And can i just say i love my piano teacher? LOVE her. she is so nice and just a wonderful person in general. I am always happy after I leave piano (despite the theory homework that lies ahead). ALWAYS.

I like those kinds of people. Isn't there a quote about that? Let no one leave you better or happier than when they came to you or something like that. That's what I want to try to be, the kind of person who is just cheerful in general and keeps spirits up. At school now, that's not hard to do. All of my friends have that effect on me, and that's why i love them so much. All of them. In the friend way.

And then there's nerd, whom i want to kiss the shit out of (i like that phrase. Kiss the shit out of. lol). hmm.

ALSO: i came up with a new novel idea, something i've never really tried before, as it's from the point of view of a guy teenager (who may or may not be homosexual, i'm not sure). His name is Muircheartaigh Malachi, because i found the name Muircheartaigh while searching for my own name and thought, that is a hilariously horrible name. In a nice way, of course, i'm not being discriminatory. It's just, how often do you see a name like that? It needed to be used. I kept misspelling it as muircheataugh today. Maybe i'll just make it that, who knows? :P

yer pal who misses her puppy dearly,
swegan

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Everything else now just seems so wrong.

I thought I'd disappear on here for awhile, I honestly did. But I'm an extremely social person, I guess. And I'm going to tell everyone everything (well, not entirely), whether they like it or not.

I hate that her collar's sitting out on the counter. I hate that I still have to go to school, that I don't think anyone will consider this a good enough reason not to have my homework done. I can't just stop. But today, everything's worse. I can't focus at all. Analyzing the symbolism in Like Water for Chocolate just seems so stupid. Everything is so wrong.

Today is so wrong. I can't stand the last time thing that circles through my head. That my last sight of her was her being happy to see the vet when she came in to put her down. That I saw the colour of the stuff they used- it was blue. Blue. That really bothers me. I wish it had been clear. But I can't reasonably say blue is my favourite colour now, or for a long time. Maybe ever again.

I went home with dad. I didn't want him to go home alone. It killed me to see my sister, though- she didn't want me to hold her hand or anything. When I put my hand on her arm, she pushed it off.
My brother gave me the tightest hug of my life.

At least we could all be there. Mandy seemed happy, even though she was uncomfortable.

She wasn't okay yesterday, though. Her gums were really pale, and then dad got home and it turns out she was bleeding internally. Her stomach kept swelling, and swelling. We picked Freckles up from her friend's house early, my brother and my mom met us at the vet. The five of us took turns petting Mandy, she seemed happy that we were all there. Mom called her "pook", which I think she'd only ever called Jesse before (our dog that was put down when I was in grade two).

I was the first one to cry. That's me. I didn't see dad cry at all, but I bet he wanted to. He was sad. My brother was sad. Mom was crying, Freckles was crying. I was the only one talking and it didn't make any sense.

We decided that it would be cruel to take her home for a little longer when she was so uncomfortable already. To keep her uncomfortable for our sake. We loved her. She didn't deserve to suffer.

It's just so... random. Stupid. I don't know. She's been there every day since my memory was really solid and not just bits and pieces, like with Jesse. And now, I suppose I'll have moved out by the time we get a new dog or something.

Dad and I talked a little yesterday. It was so nice to be able to talk about it. I can't talk about it now, I can't even look at a picture of her, or I'll cry. But I can't stay at home and not go to school, I have to go, because I need a lot of hugs. I don't know why. That's just who I am. I mentioned that right then I wished I believed in god, that there'd be someone taking care of Mandy wherever she is now. She has to be somewhere good, a personality like hers doesn't just die.

It almost feels like she's still here, just in the basement, eluding us. Except when we cook. I can picture exactly what she'd be doing every minute of the day. When mom was cooking eggs, she would have been sitting on that mat by the other backyard door, next to the stove. When I ate my muffin this morning, she would have been there as I pulled it out of the container, wagging her tail and looking up eagerly. She would have mooched off me in the living room.
Right now she'd be by the fire, or wherever mom is, sleeping or resting or being petted. It just kills me that she had enough personality, enough life in her to keep going.

FUCK CANCER.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

I'll miss you, puppy dog.

Mandy
2003-2011
More than you will ever know.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

heads up:

"Permutations and Combinations" is just a fancy way of saying THIS UNIT IS ALSO STATISTICS AND FULL OF HARD PROBLEMS THAT LOOK SO SIMPLE, YET YOU WILL ALWAYS PUT IN THE WRONG NUMBERS AND GET THE ENTIRE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT WRONG.

Statistics=sadistic. And you cannot tell me different. I loathe statistics.

ONE QUESTION:

I am considering trying to edit a novel into a worthy-of-submission-for-publication stage. I was just thinking, why don't I ask the people of the internet if they'd read my novel?

Oh boy. Here goes. I have no idea where I got the idea for the plot, really- I can't remember anymore. Basically, it's about a girl named Cassedy (who is the wittier version of me) and in her past, she went to a party and got drunk, something she'd never done before. She ended up in a game of spin-the-bottle-truth-or-dare type-thing. The bottle landed on brian first, a guy Cassedy did not know at the time. he picked dare (he was drunk, too, keep in mind- everyone was. this is how i imagine teenage parties, just one big drunk-fest) and so the girl spinning the bottle dared him to seduce whoever the bottle landed on. And of course, the bottle landed on Cassedy. I'm still not quite sure what happened, but the short of it is that the two of them ended up... um... going all the way in the park, except then it was raining (a cliche! Cassedy hates those) and so she ran home, really upset. one of her younger sisters, anna, opened the door when she got home and basically covered for her and everything, though cassedy didn't tell her what happened and so now Anna really wants to know, because she's concerned.
of course, after that, cassedy remembers that night well, but brian forgets it completely. Somehow, they've become a little closer since then (as in, brian actually knows cassedy now and possibly likes her in the beginning, i'm not sure).

Then, this part i had to make really convenient otherwise the story wouldn't work. cassedy and anna's parents are both big nerds who have a book club. one of the sets of parents in that book club is brian's parents, along with a whole bunch of other kids with a wide range of ages. so i guess they did know each other beforehand. Whoops. PLOT HOLE! heh heh. i'll have to patch that up.
then, the book club decides to rent a cabin in some random lake in the states i found in oregon with google maps. and cassedy's mother offers to let cassedy and anna drive down there in cassedy's very adorable green car (green as in colour, not a hybrid). she says they should take more people. of course, the other three that come are boys- brian, a kid cassedy wants anna to end up with named gabe, and then this awful dickhead anna likes named nick.
so the story is basically of their trip down there, which is very awkward for cassedy... oh yeah. I forgot to say one thing- cassedy wants to hate brian, but she gave up on it because she thinks he's absolutely wonderful (which he kind of is), and she is very much in love with him.

A little bit at the end of the story was their time at the cabin (which was short.... hmmm. i may have to include a transition scene), during which cassedy confessed what happened to brian. because he knew something happened but he didn't know what, only flickers.

so basically, it's a love story. but i find it very funny and full of good ol' sisterly bonding and road trip fun (they have some pretty interesting truth or dare games, lol). they also pick up a couple people on the way. although it's not finished yet, and i may include the trip back. just because that would make it a very nice lengthy novel.

so. What do you think? Any suggestions? too cheesy for you? :P

yer pal,
swegan :)

Another apology:

I'm sorry to all the snarky, awful comments I made about people complaining about how our bio teacher isn't teaching us anything. It's not nice to be snippy and nasty when other people are having trouble. So I'm sorry. I really am. I feel like shit, and I know this is the chicken way to apologize. Let's just say I'm not going to say anything ever again, unless people actually are talking. Because let's be honest, I do that sometimes too. Although my personal opinion is that before our bio teacher was teaching us (just in an irregular manner, eg. we don't have notes every day in an organized way in chemistry), but now she's been giving us all these assignments and most of the stuff on them isn't in the textbook (she posted powerpoints online for us, but they're just copies of what the textbook says). So we have to teach ourselves all this stuff about enzymes and proteins and lipids and carbohydrates and sugars and all that. Using the INTERNET. And let me tell you, when you just want to get the assignment done so you can move on, wikipedia is extremely tempting. It's all just right there, everything you want to know! But of course, we can't trust wikipedia, now can we? So we have to search and search relentlessly. That is, if you're me and want the answer to your question in the first three hits. I never go to the next page of google search results- in my experience, it's all just stuff that's even further from what you wanted. Therefore I revise my search queries again, and again, and again, and again, until I find something that makes sense.
So, I'm sorry for how I was before. I said some awful things.
But I guess now I've learned not to say those things. Like they say, "Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement." That's a good quote.
Yer Pal,
Swegan :)