Friday, July 8, 2011

i've always wanted to do one of those things...

you know, where you list five random things about yourself and challenge others to do the same or something? so that's what i'll do. 5 random facts about me, because i'm bored and feeling detached again. does allergy medication do that? i've never taken ADULT allergy medication before, but my allergies are really bad this year because WE DIDN'T HAVE SPRING so now everything's pollinating at once.

5 things about swegan:
1) I have an intense fear of automatic toilets because once one flushed on me while i was still sitting down and scared the heck out of me, so now i'm just sort of scared of them.
2) I was a strange child who was very curious about everything, and when i look back now at some of the stories i wrote, they scare me. quite a bit. i was almost deranged, i think.
3) I care immensely about what other people think and i can't seem to get out of that habit no matter how hard I try.
4) I tend to imagine the worst scenario that could possibly happen, like if i fell asleep in the hot tub and someone somehow didn't see me and closed the lid and i drowned. I'm quite pessimistic that way, even though those outcomes seem about as likely to happen as the super optimistic ones.
5) I am very very very scared of using the phone. I just hate getting wrong numbers or calling people to hang out. my mom and sister just say "oh, just call them and see if they want to hang out!" and then when i refuse it becomes that i have to, with my mother making me call people. when i think about it, it doesn't sound so bad, but i get so embarrassed on the phone and so i'm so scared of using it. i don't like phonebooks. i will be happy to correspond by email or text messages or even written letters (which i've never done), but not the phone. don't ask me to call you, because i won't. i'm going to have a hard time getting a job in the future. ick. however, i have no problem answering the phone. that's fine with me. it's just actively calling people that freaks me out.

SO if you read this, i challenge you to post your own blog with five random things about you. because i've always wanted to do that sort of thing and what the heck?

so spacey right now. it's kind of freaking me out, how i don't want to do anything. i should read one of my books for school and practice piano (which, frankly, i am sick of) or even print my novel and begin getting ready the tools to edit it, or maybe pack or something. i just can't bring myself to do any of those things and it's driving me insane.
if this is the allergy medication at work, let's just say i'm not going to be too excited about taking it anymore. though it is proving quite helpful otherwise.

yer pal,
swegan :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

hmm

Normally I would have just sucked it up and went with freckles and her friend to the corner store to buy hot dog buns even though we were already there today, but today i just didn't. I don't know why, i'm in a sad mood right now, i guess. Probably because I've been writing a really good story and now it's sort of ending, which makes me sad. Even though I love the success that comes with writing a full-blown novel (ESPECIALLY ONE WITH NO PLOT HOLES LIKE THIS ONE!), for some reason i feel like i'm not done YET. I mean, i just wrote the scene i'd been writing up to the whole time, which didn't go as i'd planned, but that's okay, because if i'd made it go that way, it just wouldn't have been the same.
This is proof of how characters do things on their own. They make the story happen, because after all, if you're writing about characters, it's not your story. It's theirs. I've said it a million times, but it's true- that's what being a writer is, is writing someone else's story (unless, of course, it's an autobiography) for the world to have a chance to read.

so that's three novels i have now... i should really work on getting published. Then you would all know my name anyways, but oh well.

I have some articles of clothing that i give a purpose, like this bright blue checked shirt that goes over a t-shirt with sleeves down to my elbows (very lame description, i know) that i call my movie-making shirt, because when i want to make a movie i'll go put it on. then there's my skirt-that-has-no-adjective-yet, which is the only skirt i own that actually fits PERFECTLY and looks authentic (is that the right word?) even though i got it at Old Navy. (They're getting one of those at the mall here! hooray! someplace that actually sells clothes that FIT me!) and then my teenager hoodie, which is bright yellow but a greenish yellow, and kind of short and wide, but that's how it's meant to be worn. you don't think it's warm until you go outside. and then my writing sweater (as i've just decided today), which is light light blue and very pretty. and my favourite scarf, which is the first one i got and, i think, the most scarf-like out of all of the scarves i own. and then the grey runners that i can't wear in the rain because they're such summer shoes that they cannot be exposed to adverse weather conditions, which i love because, i don't know. they're unique, sort of like keds but they don't look like them. and then the bright bubblegum pink skirt, which i actually wore today.

i'm sorry for going off on a big long rant about clothes, but i just felt like saying it. plus it got my mind off of my story.. at least until i just said that. darn it.

i've changed my outfit once already today, and i changed about three times yesterday. it's nice not to have to pick out one thing that i have to wear for EVERYTHING all day, and to be able to wear dresses and not feel awkward about it. i've never worn a dress to school besides formal days. (which were fun). i should, probably, but the only dresses i'd wear are both a little too big for me (chest-wise). and every time i try to pin them they fall apart.

okay. i'm going to change again now :) just because it's summer, and i can.

yer pal,
swegan.