Friday, April 29, 2011

just a few more words.

This song is summer, is the time i can remember being happy for no reason, is a reminder of that night in the park so long ago. of my first. of being a stupid kid who later ended up doing something really stupid. for me, this song, just listening to it, takes me to that place. to being happy in the park, to the days before the park, the hours before, just getting excited. this is the song that reminds me of my first relationship, first kiss, first guy to like me when i liked him. my entrance into the world of dating and relationships. i know it all sounds cheesy but the feeling i get when i'm listening to this song is the trees and the grass and the walk there, the exact moment it happened, and the happiness i felt. exactly. the power i let music have is huge and i love it more than i love anything else right now.


k. one thing first before i tell you of my ten days in foreign countries: do people actually dream inblack and white? and is that the majority of people? i dream in colour, and i thought that was normal, but in books people always say they dream in black and white. i read an old book once about a black kid and he said that he thought white people dreamt (is that a word?) in black and white and black people in colour and i was like "i don't think it matters..." because my dreams are DEFINITELY in colour. 100%.
anyways. moving on.

SO the flight to europe... there was one to frankfurt, so i've been to germany now. let me tell you something about the frankfurt airport: IT IS SO LONG. walking to our next gate took forEVer and i looked pretty awful by then. we'd been flying for 9 hours and it was about 10 pm at home. Then we had a one hour flight to prague, in the czech republic, where i sat next to a german/czech businessman on the plane who was talking to his businessman friends in german/czech. i looked at him and he looked at me for about five seconds and we were just like yeah, i don't speak your language. it was random. and then amy and i were weirded out by the weird custard-moist-sugar-thing they gave us on the plane from frankfurt instead of pretzels. we were like, what is this? also on the 9-hour flight the flight attendant came and she was like "what can i get you to drink?" of course i had a water bottle so i said "oh, i'm fine" and she was like "No, it's a 9-hour flight, it gets really dry. you need to have something to drink. what can i get you?" i was like "water!" it was so awful. i don't care that she was concerned, they came back around the plane five zillion more times, and she's asking me, not demanding. i'm a customer. eesh.
we landed in prague at what was like 2 AM home time but 6 AM there and met paulo, our tour guide. then we went off to walk ALL DAY. we visited prague castle, which was pretty, except halfway through the tour i got dizzy and confused and started crying, because i'd been up for 36 hours. (apparently it's a human rights violation to let people go 24 hours without at least 3 hours of sleep. and without a week or two of sleep, you die). so instead of going with the group for the hour long excursion to the charles bridge, mom and i went a different way to the easter market, where we looked around forever to find where we were supposed to meet the group. ironically enough, once we were away from the tour guide's mumbling and talking about stuff that i couldn't have cared less about that day, i felt way more awake. it was cool to be in prague with just mom for a little.
also at one point that day i slept on a bench with one of the teachers and mom and freckles came back to look for the girls whose bags we were watching and i don't remember looking for them. i remember a hazy dream of walking in and out of a starbucks and then sitting on the curb with everyone else, which was where i woke up. it was so scary to not be awake like that.
needless to say, that night we all slept SO well. my sister heard the knocking in the morning and though i was still asleep and thought the knocking was part of my dream, she woke me up to answer it. i found that very mean as she was already up and waking me up was not necessary. but she just defended herself and got all stubborn and i gave up.
the second day went better since we'd actually had sleep. we went out to terezin (outside of the town of thierenstadt) and saw the concentration camp there. you can't understand fully how sad and awful the holocaust was until you've been to a legit concentration camp. the rooms with the bunks were so cold and there were teeny rooms to hold 600 people with enough bunks for maybe 50. and two toilets, and five sinks, maybe. apparently the toilets used to back up and the whole room would flood which sucked because everyone there had diarrhea, and it was just awful. they had a little prison room with a whole in the wall and a tiny high window. the guide told us in there there was a bucket in the corner for excrement but again, everyone had diarrhea, so they were pretty much ankle deep in crap and slept standing up. the room was about as big as my bedroom and held 100 people, mostly political prisoners and stuff, and they'd take turns standing by the hole in the wall and taking breaths of fresh air. there were also containment cells, some completely dark, where they'd lock people up for amounts of time. there was a shower, i remember, a cold, cold, freezing shower with a wooden tub below where he said they tortured people, broke their bones under this cold water to get information. the picture i took there that i liked the most was actually of some roses twined into the chainlink fence that kept you from falling off this ledge we walked on. If i could title it and enter it in a photo thing (do they have those?) i'd call it Proof. because that's what the roses are- proof that people care. i'll see if i can put the picture in.
did it work? i have no idea. if not, i'll put the picture in the next post. maybe i just should have done that.
anyway. after terezin we went to the ghetto museum. they had 7 HUGE poster-type-things with tiny print featuring all the names of people who had died. 2 of them filled an entire wall, and the rest were about 1/4. it's just amazing how many names there were. and columns with quotes on them in a different part, one about a girl having scarlet fever, mumps, measles, a middle ear infection, and diarrhea all at the same time, one about old people dropping like flies because they couldn't handle standing for 14 hours. there was a propoganda film the nazis put out making terezin look like a resort for jewish families, and in the background all these lists of transports. 1000 people, 3 survivors. 1000 people, no survivors. 1000 people, 21 survivors. 1000 people, 1 survivor. it makes me want to just bawl.
it's also amazing how much of this i remember. there were statues, too, one of a bunch of people in the camp (including a guy at the front who was so skinny he was a human skeleton) and one of a girl squatting with her hands tied behind her back and a cloth bag tied over her head, sort of. i thought that statue spoke volumes.
the next day we went to brno, and though everyone else liked it, i really didn't. we ate crap food and my flip flops were killing me. that was the day i found out i was going to wear running shoes the entire trip because i HATE the flip flops i got for the trip. we got to vienna and it was AMAZINGLY CLEAN. the park there was nice and there were "mostly mozart" tourist stores every three feet (i'm not using that as an exaggeration. there were at least one or two per street per block). we visited the shonbrunn palace (there's supposed to be two dots over the o) which was amazing and everything in the decor (ceilings and trim and stuff) was made of or with gold. there were gorgeous chandeliers and beautiful paintings and no photographs allowed. :( stupid stupid photography rules. there was that in the sistine chapel, too, and a few churches. the photography rule, i mean.
so that was amazing. i can't remember what else we did in vienna- we had a crowded, crappy river cruise with strange bottled water that had a ring on the lid so you could hang it on a backpack or something (???) we also did a walking tour of the city and saw st. augustines, which was the most beautiful church out of the zillion churches we saw, all white and silver. the organ was so pretty but i couldn't get the picture to come out right, couldn't get the pipes to shine just the way they were in real life. i thought, with this organ playing, every bit of this church must just fill up with a sound so powerful and crystal clear that it fills up every bit of air and leaves nothing untouched. it was amazing.
we spent a night at this slightly shifty hotel with a crummy bathroom (the bathroom floor was nice, and that was it) and a window that would open itself if not locked right and no lounge and 82% fat butter in the morning.
the next night, still in vienna, we took a night train. it was six people in our group to a little tiny room with six bunks. if two people stood in there there was no room for anyone else to stand. i slept on the middle right, and apparently the top was really hot. every time the train stopped or i had to roll over, i'd wake up. the bed was hard and hurt my hips. but it wasn't near as bad as paulo made it sound (he was our tour guide for the entire trip, and we had specialized guides in different places. i use his name because most likely i will never meet him again and there's probably lots of people and lots of tour guides in europe named paulo). the conductor gave us "breakfast" (bread. that's it, just a croissant thing. bread.) and a little easter egg, as it was easter sunday!
also on the train that night, when we folded down the middle bunks to make couches and play cards, we kept passing all these giant uncontrolled fires, and once we passed a cross on fire. it must have been some weird easter thing. i don't think we ever figured that one out.
we got to florence at 6:18 AM and it was raining. i was too excited to be in italy, however. we got to our hotel, left all our luggage in a teeny basement room and then went out for the day. first we went to breakfast at this crummy little out-of-the-way-restaurant where i felt like the room was moving 'cause of the train and the food sucked and i couldn't lean on the table or else it would lean with me, as in it was loose. we saw a little street market after that, and i remember seeing this young vendor maybe in his 20s pulling a cart. he was in fine physical condition and looked weary-ish, but the look in his eyes... he just looked so broken. i didn't get a picture, but i can remember it very well. you could tell he knew he didn't belong there, he didn't want to be there, but he'd accepted it and he wasn't going to get out anytime soon. (italy was very inspiring for me and i made up a lot of people's personalities/life stories/mix of both as i saw lots of that in people's eyes). it really moved me. then we went and saw this crazy parade in the square with a band and drums and church bells and a huge crowd (people kept standing on this flower box in front of me and getting in the way of my videos and i'd swear at them but you can't hear in the noise of the crowd) and they brought out this elaborate wooden thing. apparently later in the day they kind of set it on fire/exploded it with fireworks. we heard that but couldn't see it or any evidence of it. they really like to set fires on easter in europe, for whatever reason...
we saw lots of cool statues and lots of those little chainlink fences with locks, lots and lots of locks hanging on them. it's illegal to put the locks there (just little locks, like you'd put on a locker or a diary or maybe a bike, etc, like tiny master locks and whatnot) but they just left them, i guess. there were so many. and the medici symbol- a crest-type thing with six balls on it- was EVERYWHERE (even after we left florence. those balls were all over italy, in siena and pisa and rome) which just goes to show that the medici were far more powerful than the eighth grade worldview social studies textbook made them out to be. they pretty much ruled italy altogether. did i say pretty much? they DID rule italy. end of story.
also, we saw David (the statue) along with several other statues of people that were SO WELL DONE but not wearing clothes. then on keychains and magnets and UNDERWEAR they put the groin region. my dad took a keychain of that and was like "do you want a car? 'cause if you do you have to have this keychain on your keys" and i was like "thanks, dad." sheesh. later we went to see the original david in this tiny, useless museum where david is pretty much the only statue except for this roomfull of plaster statues you can't even go into at all. you went through a metal detector to be in there for 20 minutes and listen to your guide talk about the statue. it was a waste of time, that museum. at least put David with some other statues or something, not just all alone by himself.
there were a few of those ones that looked half finished, too, i guess. but that museum... just... it seemed pretty pointless to me.
we probably also went into a church, but after awhile the churches all blended together for me. i've seen enough churches to last me a lifetime. they are neat, though.
there was also a leather store in florence (the old florence leather factory) that we stopped in and it was so neat. there were lots of leather stores in florence but that one was my favourite. i loved the smell and the feel of some of the coats and this one tiny purple purse- it was like butter, so soft you couldn't feel it. it was wonderful. i also got a leather jacket, which i love and wore home on the plane so i wouldn't lose it. i looked like a super-cool tourist yesterday, flying home. we got some bags and mom got a jacket, too, and the prices were dropped significantly. he said (of the sticker prices) "oh, no, no, those prices are just for the chinese" and dropped the price about 400 euro, which was a LOT.
(k, on a brief, unrelated note- the weather outside right now is confused. it's sunny one second, dark the next. it was supposed to snow, and did, but then it rained, which took away the snow. then it was windy, which blew away the rain. then it hailed briefly, little tiny hail bits smaller than a pinkie fingernail, and then once again after that. the clouds are huge and ominous. it's like winter and spring are battling it out to the death. come on, spring! you can do it!)
the next day we went to pisa, and saw the leaning tower and the baptistry. i took a video in the baptistry of this guy coming out and sort of humming-yelling-singing ("aaaah-ohhhh......ahhhh-ohhh-oooohhhhhh"... etc) and it echoed like there was a whole choir of monks backing him up, when in reality it was just him. it was amazing. i'll see if i can upload that, maybe. or not, 'cause it has people from our trip in it. oh well. just take my word for it, it was cool.
we couldn't go to volterra (SADFACE) but we went to Monteriggioni instead. it was adorable and small and i had the best chocolate gelato ever in there and also got a scarf. (I FORGOT TO ADD THAT TO MY TOTAL STUFF I BOUGHT! oops). after we left i summed up the town, which left me feeling inspired--> "Monteriggioni is a town dreaming without a dream." what i meant by that was that it was small but sort of accepting of its fate. it wanted to dream bigger but couldn't quite picture what that would be- dreaming without a dream. i loved monteriggioni. one church, one hotel, two restaurants and a gelateria.
then we got to siena and had a long tour. of course the first bit, walking to meet our tour guide, was in the sheeting rain. it let up a bit and completely later, and the tour was good. i think we saw the right thumb and the head of some lady who did something for this one church, and i forget both her name and what she did. all i remember is that they PRESERVED HER THUMB AND FACE, so you could look at this old, dark gray, wrinkled thumb, and her face from a distance. that was creepy- about as creepy as the catacombs.
the hotel we stayed in that night was wonderful, the best of them all. it had a pool even though none of us went swimming. we found three snails and a lemon tree and a long parade of ants in this perfect line. dinner was good- we fed the boys our unwanted food. i said "i'm going to put my plate in the middle and see what happens." i hadn't even set it down before one of the three grade twelve guys (and the only guys on the trip, besides the one guy in my gym class) on the trip took it. he and the others were like garborators, just eating so much. we also stole the pink bottlecaps from the water bottles at the table and made towers. or rather, i did. i still have them.
then we drove to rome and went to the vatican, which was super crowded and not much fun. we saw a sight from the angels and demons movie, that air-face, and then got free time during which we ate gelato/ice cream. there was a store of vatican stuff, and you could get whatever you bought blessed and brought to your hotel in the morning. what the significance of having something blessed is i've no idea, but i thought that was neat (and weird). we bought some non- religious artifacts and avoided the mass crowds there to see the "beatificazione" of pope john paul II. (the last one, he's dead now.) we did not get to see the pope (that would have been neat even if you're not catholic. i'm certainly not and i wanted to see the pope) but got to see other neat stuff, i guess. like the sistine chapel (i can't remember where that was) and a huge church. in the church was a long line of pope's pictures. the picture of the most recent pope (the one still living) was lit by a light. they told us that when the pope dies, that light goes out, and then people know the pope is dead without having to wait for the word. there were only about 11 spots left. supposedly after they're filled the "world will end" (yeah, right, that's like 2012) but if each of them is gonna last for 29 years that's like 400 years, so the church will live on for at least that long. it's lived a pretty stinkin' good life, that church. the churches in europe are just proof of how much power and MONEY the church had back then, like holy crap, their pockets were just lined with it. and on every church door was a "biblium paupum" (sp?) which is the pauper's bible. all in pictures, 'cause no one could read. which was to the church's benefit, 'cause then no one could question them. but anyway.
the next day we saw the colosseum which was amazing and the roman forum which was amazing except i didn't enjoy it as the whole time i felt like crap and really had to pee. i remember the bit about the vestal virgins and their 30 year vow of celibacy. if they broke that they were buried alive. in the book i was reading (fiction, it's called 13 little blue envelopes) one of the letters said that her aunt had learned that if these virgins broke their vow of celibacy they took them underground to a little room with a bed and a light and then filled the door in with dirt. and then they starved to death, i guess. that sucks. but that book also said that the girl drove by the trevi fountain. i saw that fountain and there is no room anywhere for cars to drive by. sorry, maureen johnson (the author if i remember correctly). that's a big factual hole.
so yeah. we also saw the spanish steps (where some guy tried to steal my camera but the clipped zipper kept him out, though my camera strap hung out) where we saw this woman begging and it looked like she had one leg. when we got to the top five seconds later, we looked down and saw that she'd put out her other leg and was drinking bottled water. sheesh.
we saw the embassy and that was WONDERFUL AND AMAZING. just to see the canadian flag and hear the canadian accent and see cardboard cutouts of mounties and eat real food for a little. the guy gave a presentation but we were all exhausted and the room was warm so we all kinda fell asleep a bit. the presentation was good and everything was explained really well, but we were all SO TIRED.
we went to a square whose name started with V and had the fountain where they tried to drown the guy in angels and demons and wandered down side streets in the rain while eating ice cream (my family and i, this was free time) and the streets in the rain with the restaurants and stores... it was so romantic and cute. i wish i'd taken a picture. i'm totally going to italy for my honeymoon. in the spring. when it's supposed to rain. we'll stay in monteriggioni and siena and visit verona, too. :)
also one of the nights we got a whole pizza each to eat. i ate 3/4, several people at the whole thing. one night we got "neck and ass" chicken, as paulo so lovely put it, after a beautiful and wonderful spaghetti dish. i got a chicken ribcage that night, and the young waitress was flirting with the old restaurant owner, ew. also our hotel in rome was so shifty. i think the first night i heard someone getting raped/beaten outside the window, two other screams, and a car alarm. then we left our window closed but someone had opened it. one of the girls my sister and i were rooming with had come back first and was in the bathroom. when the other girl came back and saw the window was open, she was like "oh, killers could have gotten in! i'll check the bathroom for killers" and she opened the door just as the other girl was coming out and SCREAMED. it was a total accident and she was joking about the killers and everything, but it was so funny. even she thought so, so don't worry. good times, good times. and that night we stayed up late and added up purchases for customs and talked about paulo's face when we finally clapped for him on the bus. that face made my LIFE, i am not kidding. it was like :D + :O and the cutest face ever. oh, paulo. with all his facial expressions. i'll miss him. so will everyone else. and my ninth grade social studies teacher, who is retiring now and came on the trip. apparently on the night train the first thing he said when he woke up was "12 out of 10 on the fun scale!" and he and one of the grade 12 guys were talking about how to beat up theives on the night train. he and paulo were always making fun of each other but in a friendly way. it was great.
it was so sad when we all stood in the lobby of the shifty hotel and said bye. also one of the teachers, the main one who organized the trip, is leaving for the stupid west side high school, and i'll miss her. she was great. who'll organize this next year? :( :( :( and yeah. it was just sad. we gave paulo the picture of a certain monument in our town that's pretty much all the town is memorable for that we'd signed, and at the airport before we went through security we all gave him a hug. a goodbye hug.
:( now i'm sad. the trip was amazing and wonderful and i would do it all again, every last bit, in a heartbeat.
-europeans make out in public a lot. it made me miss my nerd back home, whom i didn't get to say goodbye to properly 'cause i had to leave early because we thought we didn't have our passports. i haven't kissed him in too long because he was sick before i left, too. POOP.
-people don't speak english everywhere. it's weird to realize this.
-european drivers have no respect for pedestrians. apparently, as some guy said to a girl on the trip "you step out and then they stop for you". yeah, that totally sounds safe. and they drive 80 down these crowded-with-tourists streets. well, okay, not there, but on regular streets. like where we go 50k and 30k? they go 80. i'm surprised more people didn't get hit, that we didn't see any accidents.
-europe has way cooler history than us. i forgot to mention we saw the catacombs the second day in rome. they're like christian burial chambers from the 2nd century. there were tombs dug into walls right on the floor, and as we walked down these eerie underground hallways made of dirt i kept worrying a zombie hand would grab my ankle(s).
-they have lots and lots and LOTS of churches in europe
-they put salt on EVERYTHING and don't eat a lot of vegetables.
-they don't seem to have a bug problem. i saw two spiders on the street in prague the first day and then some fruit flies in italy and that was it.
-they usually have warm 5% milk (ick) for breakfast, and there'll be guys trying to sell umbrellas to people in the rain who already have umbrellas.
i should go now.
but yeah, that's europe! and now i need to catch up on social/theory/math. there's no way in hell i'll be ready for my piano exam the second week of june. i have one song kinda and half my scales.
yer world-travellin' pal,
swegan :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The world is full of awesome, but sometimes you just can't see it.

I'm listening to the band "ALL CAPS" on youtube, which i had never previously heard of. That is a tragedy, as I really like their songs. So... yeah. No pressure to search that up or anything, but i'm guessing you'll like the music :)

It finally stopped snowing, also, which is good. There's enough snow on the ground and it's all just going to be slush tomorrow anyway- at least in the morning. and then it will melt.

I actually have other things to do but what I want to do is theory in the basement with Freckles even though the basement is colder than my room (an impossibility before limited only to outside, Saskatchewan, the arctic, Greenland, et cetera) and makes my fingernails blue and there's not really any good movies on netflix, in my opinion...

Also I want to write a really epic story about adventure, and I just thought of this as I typed this sentence- I was texting nerd and I made this whole story about how I rescued him from imminent danger in a blimp and he ordered the wrong thing on the blimp so I had to waste my pal the Russian guy, and I think that might actually make a really fun story. The fantasy one I was writing isn't really going anywhere unpredictable anyway, the scientist just flopped and failed and is now sort of like a really adorable and fun-t0-read-but-not-to-think-about fish sitting in my hard drive. The pianist still has potential, as there is a small kid in that, and kids always have potential. The story about the overhomeschooled girl is not going well since Hugh is being a poop head and so is Leanne and Cody is just so cute, and so maybe I should make the story about him. But I can't. And then... hmm, what else? the imagination story is about really lame ninth graders (i'm sorry. you're probably awesome to you right now, and that's all that matters, any ninth graders of the internet) and it's just bla and it would be exciting if instead it had NASA and the crazy dream of a scientist one night to build a spaceship of cardboard instead of just some kids who did it by accident. Black magic is so dead, but that was a good idea. the story with the road trip will probably more successful when I actually get inspiration for it again, I've hit writer's block with the beach story, but I know what I want to happen in the future... sort of. Camp Lame-o 3 is still pending plot approval, and i can't decide what to do. the super future one, the sort of future winter one, or the earliest future one of epic-osity. I can't seem to get anywhere with it.
NATIONS. oh my god, that story makes me laugh so hard. it's so horribly terrible, but that was sort of when i started exploring character emotions. except I put chapter one at the beginning and then never added another chapter... oopsies. One little wish got too weird and confusing, even to me. the one about the boy at the all-female-writer's-retreat-with-his-mom-and-other-middle-aged-women COULD work. especially if there was this really glamourous (that's how i think you should spell it) girl he fell in love with and tried to write stories about, and these other girls he became friends with. (he has problems with who he should like- he likes nasty girls. poor kid). Words also just got weird but it could be one of those books. i'm not quite sure what I mean by that, but whatever.

So... those are all the stories. I've started others in the past. there's one i forbid myself to type and it's about princesses and pirates and i'm not quite sure what's supposed to happen next. i just know that eyepatch's real name is not scott, and it's not joey, i'm pretty sure. Joey is close, though.
okay. I have to do important stuff now! thanks for reading my rant, if you did :)
signed, sealed, and delivered,
swegan :)

why... i have to write a farking paper on handball for gym because i'm missing one class of handball? it snowing again, making me even more depressed, because IT'S APRIL AND THE SNOW NEEDS TO STOP BEFORE I EXPLODE OF SADNESS?

...does math have to not make sense AGAIN when i have to write the test a day sooner than everyone else? my parents tell us about 5 hours before hand that they're having people AND THEIR KIDS over so we'll be expected to entertain them even though i'm a freaking IB student and I have homework out the wazoo this weekend? gym teachers think their class is important academically? 'Cause it's not. Physically, sure. it so freaking hard to write a paper on handball? i so depressed today? i expected to be happy rays of sunshine even when i'm adjusting to a time change? i have to entertain someone else's kids when i'm not the one who invited them over? today so depressing?

Thursday, April 14, 2011


I am thinking of them.
My sister=Freckles
My writing friend at school who helped me start the young writer's club= ginger asian
My boyfriend= Nerd
My friend who threw Tupperware at my face= Tupperware
My really artistic friend who helped me with the whole our-class-of-9-4-is-space-pirates-thing= space pirate
My friend who makes sure I don't shoot myself in math and is generally full of fun= The Silly One
The twins whom Freckles and I have been friends with for several years= A and S

Those are pretty much the only people I will talk about. Sorry for the grammar fail in the space pirates sentence :/

Signed, Sincerely,
Swegan :)

Why is it snowing?

Canadian weather makes about 0 sense to me. Did I say about? I mean it makes no sense at all.
'Cause it's April, it's been about 10 or so out for the past week, and then this morning there was a foot of snow.
it's all melted, but today when I had to miss drama for kiwanis, it took me forever to find a way to cross the street. There were big raging rivers of brown mucky water everywhere, and now most of the snow is gone and the roads are dry.
There's winter, which consumes the year from about mid-October to March or April (we had a snow day last year in April. The power went out) and then there's some iffy weather where it's not quite spring, and then it's summer. Then there's a week or two in October where the leaves fall off the trees, and then it's winter again.
It snows here on Halloween. Or at least, it's quite cold. I sometimes wish I lived in Saskatchewan because at least there it's not all wishy-washy-- when it's cold in Saskatchewan, it's cold, period, end of story, and the snow does not let up until spring. And when it's summer in Saskatchewan, there are wicked storms and days of blazing heat.
Which reminds me of how I'd always heard weather changes quickly on the prairies. Then I heard it changes quickly in the mountains. So how about we just go with Weather Changes Quickly Everywhere Except Those Really Hot Or Cold Countries and leave it at that.
Canada does not qualify as one of those really cold countries- but the arctic does. Which is why about 60% of Canadians live within 160 km of the border, 'cause it's too cold farther north.

Also today at lunch one of my friends threw his tupperware container and tried to hit my boyfriend who was sitting next to me (they have this weird guy friendship of violence and friendship...) but instead it hit me square on the nose. Below where my glasses go there is now this tiny, tiny scar. I took a picture of myself pointing to it and put it as my messenger picture, just to remind that friend why WE DO NOT THROW TUPPERWARE AT LUNCH. EVER.

Drama was pretty good but when we went over the math test (in math, not drama, lol)... :( I felt really stupid, especially since I think everyone else got like 60+ and so I felt really stupid. Also my grade is now about 77 or 78, which SUCKS because if I have to write the final and have it count, it is not going to end well. Chapter three and four and ... two, I think? went well, but chapter five and chapter one were awful. Since we are in the IB class and we learn different stuff, they cut out three chapters (including finance, the one we'd actually use when we grow up... Fail, IB organizers. Epic. Fat. Fail) and put in four, so we're on chapter 7 now. It's about circles. If I concentrate, I can get those questions, but a lot of the time I miss the stupid stuff. I like algebra better (which is what everything has been so far) because it's easier to understand somehow.
But you know what unit I absolutely loathe? Probability. Ugh. I was so bad at that- I just can't make my brain work that way. My brain says with math either this is the answer or it isn't. I can't wrap it around calculating how likely it is that something will happen and I kept messing up the formulas. I hate hate HATE probability.

Okay. This has been a really bad post, because I am an eternal pessimist. Which makes me sad. Sometimes I can look at the good and I have days where I am just so unbelievably happy, and then days like today, where I just feel like bleh and then like woo. It's really annoying.
Also, I lost my iPod. I stopped bringing it to school because I didn't want to lose it before the Europe trip, and look what happened? I lost it. :( POOP.

At least we get to do lifts in dance tomorrow! :D I am one of those ridiculously tiny people who don't eat a lot because they have a very small stomach and also there is not always a lot of lunch-packable food in the house (Actually, I had a muffin for breakfast this morning, and some water. Because we're all out of milk and juice... no, we did have whole milk. But I think a muffin is more filling than rice krispies. Anyway, it made me feel really anorexic, like when I first got my hyrax in and cried a zillion times because I was SO FREAKING HUNGRY) and so I don't eat a lot at lunch. (I tend to put in lots of brackets which make my sentences confusing, and I tend to use long sentences. Sorry if that's annoying or something).

AND MY BOYFRIEND IS SICK SO HE CAN'T KISS ME GOODBYE BEFORE I GO TO EUROPE :( but meh. I think I'll survive. Plus, he'll probably be better when I get back :D

I am wearing cheap Claire's sunglasses on my head right now. I look ridiculous.

ALSO ON LYN'S BLOG I read about library and people watching, and it reminded me of today when I went to the library for kiwanis (which is a music festival, btw, I play the piano). There was this one woman sitting at a table and she kinda fat (don't judge me!) and wearing a bright pink hoodie. She was reading a textbook, I think, and eating what looked like a milky way/mars bar (I MISS THOSE. I CAN'T EAT THEM WITH BRACES) and also had a bag of cheesies. I wanted to be her and I have no idea why. Just to be that interesting woman in the pink hoodie who eats junk food in the library.
Then we passed the page break cafe, which I think is cool but I am too chicken to buy from, even at the last young writer's club meeting when ginger asian (we all have nicknames. I'm megatron, there's megnesium chloride, banana leaf, and ginger asian's younger sister, tow-mater. We agreed to call my little sister freckles (like Kate of off Lost) but she never comes anymore) bought that delicious looking brownie.
There by the cafe was a university student studying something that looked like work and sipping coffee. He was wearing brown that kind of matched his hair, which was neat and nice. He was kind of attractive. I have a thing for... I don't know. Guys that groom themselves nicely? I do like dress shoes.... :)

Anyway. Freckles and I placed first at kiwanis because we were the only ones in our group, and then Tuesday when I played, there was one other girl in my class who has the same teacher as me and was playing the exact same song. I got first at 85 and she got 84, which surprised me. I never expect to win. The song was Valentine by Jim Brickman, which you should totally search up on youtube.

yer pal,
swegan ;)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Dance Unit!!!!

Last year, it was a thing to be dreaded, full of torturous torture (which is me saying that I don't like dancing with people I don't know). That was also when the quacking started, because I had to be my-current-boyfriend-but-he-wasn't-then's partner when our gym teacher said no duck walking. rrrg.
But I got to dance with the guy I liked back then twice, and he was pretty good.
This year is different. Our class is not 35 people, and there's twice as many girls as guys and then some, and all of the guys are gross except for my boyfriend (I am against using names on here, thus that is why I continue to call him that) and another kid who's also in IB, who I've known since middle school. So of course one of my other friends in my gym class and I partnered up with him (my boyfriend. Not the other guy). and then today we got to learn the step called the cuddle (which terrified me last year, this year, not so bad...) and the lean (which is where the girl is held at a perilous angle against the guy's side while he leans over) and then did about 5 minutes learning lifts. Which I can't say I hated. :P Alright, those were fun. I like getting lifted. Except he let me down SOOPER SLOWLY and so maybe I will have to tell him he can let me down more quickly. It was nice, though.
Social was social, meaning blah.
Math was okay first period, we learned more about circles and chords and tangents and yadda yadda yadda. then second period I saw my math test mark :( the entry for that is below. That made me really upset. Until, as mentioned below, my friend sitting next to me played a happy song on her iPod and it made me laugh. I calculated how my grade would change because I just got it above 80, which meant I could exempt the final, and having it drop down again would just majorly suck. (Also can I just say that this math class is math 20 IB, which is about the hardest math class there is. 'cause apparently the 20 courses are harder than the 30 courses, which makes very little sense but oh well). But hooray, hooray! the test was only worth 6%, which barely brings my mark down at all. it was 81 or 82 when I calculated it. at first i thought it was 5%, and weirdly enough, when it was five percent it affected my grade more severely.... :\ maybe i'm not adding that up right. hmm.
yeah. that would make sense, with the way i'm doing it.
oh well. i'll figure it out eventually.
After that was drama, which was freaking hilarious and slack, as usual. Kaden came in and said he was Ennis, (these names do not matter to me as I do not really know these people at all), and Brynn came in and said he was April. it was really funny. Also, Brayden came in and the teacher let him. Our usual teacher would never ever let him do that. Nobody likes her, but I think she's okay and just tends to make gross generalizations. also, that she doesn't like teenagers very much.
Anyway, Brynn was in my drama class last year, so it was good to have him back for a day. we played charades and freeze and zoom and all this stuff, and it was so funny. i can't remember anything specific now.
At the end of the day I waited at my boyfriend's locker, which is just outside of the drama room. When I hugged him goodbye my ear was right by his heart (he's taller than me. about a head taller.) and i could hear it and... well, it sounds silly, but it's weird when you hear someone else's heartbeat. Especially someone you care about, because then all of a sudden they're just so real. and you're like "oh, yeah. they have a heartbeat".
I told my mom the heartbeat thing in the car but she was all like "Why were you hugging? How often does this happen?" And i was like uh, duh... and i told her i hug him goodbye every day, and that's it. she just looked angry/disappointed with me and said "too much hugging" under her breath, sorta. i don't get what's wrong with giving a hug to someone you're dating. however, my parents are extremely overprotective, and i think they'd prefer that i didn't have a boyfriend at all, so that they wouldn't have to constantly remind me that hugging is not okay.
i can't wait until i'm in university, out of the house, so i can live my life and hug someone i'm dating and go on actual dates with them and kiss them and be with them and yadda yadda yadda without my parents hovering about all the time.
WHICH REMINDS ME RANDOMLY. they are making me take all the sciences. Also, on victoria's blog (i think it was...) i saw a schedule. and i was INSANELY JEALOUS because there were a bunch of fun classes that are interesting. of course, for me, i'm taking
-English 20i (the little i at the end of a class means IB, which is international baccalaureate)
-Social 20i
-Math 30i
-Math 31i
-Chem 20i
-Bio 20i
-Physics 20 (there is no physics IB)
-Spanish 20.
in order to be in full IB, you have to take a second language which can only be Spanish or French. You also have to take IB Bio, but not chem or physics. for math IB you have to take 10 and 20 in the first year and then 30 and 31 in the second year and then write the world exam (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!) and i wanted to take legal studies, but my parents said i was taking all three sciences and that was that. because who knows what i'll want to do and blabbity blabbity bla.
anyway, i'm fairly certain i'm going to end up not taking the world exam because that involves projects. which leads me to wonder why on earth didn't i just sign up for regular math 30? but at the time i was unsure. if i do end up choosing not to do the world exam (we have to decide in november), then i finish math 30i and don't take 31i second semester (SPARE! YES!) and then the next year i would take 31 second semester. just regular 31.
but yeah. that just looks like a big sucky year. and don't tell me a positive attitude will make it better, please don't. i've heard that schpiel (i realize that is not a word) from my parents over and over and over and i am just SO sick of it. a positive attitude will not make it better.
i will graduate partial IB, though. Mark my words.
anyway. i suppose i've bored you all enough.
-swegan :)

Dear Math Test:

Why are you so mean? Why do you and all your math test friends like to gang up and be so hard to finish? Why do you like to make me cry?
I got 55 on you, and that makes me sad. Until my friend sitting next to me played the "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands" song on her iPod and after that there was no way I could be miserable.
I'm guessing people don't like you very much, usually. Unless they're a math nerd.
I liked the mid term Math Test! I got 94 on that one!
Argh. :( I have wisely not decided to tell my mother about you, math test. She would just freak out and be all "Well we'll go over your math tonight and you tell us what you don't understand and then you'll learn and this will be a good learning experience..." and bla bla bla bla bla.
On a completing the square Math Test, I got 5 out of 8. But all she saw was that that translated into 62.5%. I know how to complete the square, okay? 5 out of 8 probably happened because I mussed up a plus or minus sign, and multiplied something wrong, and then one I maybe forgot to factor. If the test was out of 100, I would have gotten 97, not 62.5.
You make my life difficult, Math Test. And that is why I don't like you at all.
Ease up a little, eh?
Signed, Sincerely,
P.S. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT ALLITERATION! Signed, Sincerely, Swegan. that's great. :D

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Dear Summer:

Last but not least.
YOU, my friend, are so elusive. You are full of hot days and days where it's almost hot enough but not quite, and then those nice, peaceful, rainy days where the sky is gray and it's okay to stay inside. Also, you've never tried to come too early to get rid of spring, but you do stay too late in autumn sometimes. You're when everything's green and strong and real and vibrant and so alive that it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen and I have to stop and take it all in for a minute. You represent freedom and fun and tanning and sun-kissed hair and vacations for weeks at a time with no responsibility at all. You're when I have time to find myself.
You're also when I have time to lose myself, and you rush by so quickly that I can't even get into the summer-ness of summer, where I'm just glad there's no school and I can accept that there's no school and forget what day it is.
You're one hell of a break.
yer pal,
swegan :)

Dear Autumn:

Don't tell the others, but you're my favourite.
Not just because you're where my birthday is and because of Thanksgiving and Halloween and starting a new school year (which isn't all bad). You're all pretty colours, the way the world winds down nicely, and so calm. Autumn, you're when everything gets quiet and peaceful, the graceful way to end summer. Winter might push you around and make you even more rare than you already are, but don't worry, global warming might help with that. You're the time of year when people can just wear a light coat, can still pull off sandals and shorts for awhile. You're the best part of the entire year and you only last three weeks to a month.
You also contain NaNoWriMo, which makes you even awesomer, even if winter does push you out of the way to try and claim that for its own. Winter has Christmas and New Years and Valentine's day. Winter is greedy, but we're working on that. I think...
Anyway. I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you. You make leaf piles, pretty colours, and wonderful outdoor smells. You're home to so many birthdays, it's not even funny.
yer biggest fan,
swegan :)

Dear Winter:

YOU BASTARD!!! GET OUT!!!! And don't come back until November, PLEASE. It was nice of you to be here, but now your time is up. Please leave, to make room for spring. Your turn is over. Let spring have one. You've tortured us long enough.
Please don't think I hate you. You're just pissing me off. And everyone else, I suspect. If you left when you were SUPPOSED to, people wouldn't hate you so much.
You, winter, have an attitude problem. And you, winter, need to leave, because your time is up, and spring is coming, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Why not quit while you're ahead?
yer pal,
swegan :)
oh and P.S. stop pushing autumn around. Autumn hardly gets any time at all before you come in all big and mighty and just shove autumn out the door. I love autumn but we don't get to have it because you're so full of yourself.
Get over yourself and stop coming early and leaving late. It's not nice. Have you any decency? Shame, winter. Shame.
P.P.S. but you do have good stuff, like at Christmas when everyone is like "Oh my goodness, it's Christmas!" Your coming represents numerous school breaks to come, and family togetherness, and Valentine's day, which some hate but others like (that would be me). You cover everything with pretty snow. So maybe you're just so eager to come in and show what you have because you're certain you're so beautiful and that people just need to see that. And while you do mean coziness and cookies and hot chocolate, you also mean snow everywhere, cold for a long time, and no sun at all. So I do like you, I just get sick of you after mid-February, and wish you wouldn't come tromp on Halloween so that the kids can't even wear costumes without them being consumed by bulk for warmth.
Keep your distance and we'll get along fine.

Dear Spring:

Why do you hate Canada so much that you don't even want to come here until it's almost summer? We love you, spring. You are the highlight at the end of our long, cold, terrible Canadian winters. Especially in Saskatchewan. It is freaking cold there in the winter, not like where I live, where it's cold, then cool, then cold, then freezing, then cool, then moderate, then freezing, and so forth. If you only go one or two places in Canada, please let it be Saskatchewan. Because they need it a lot more than we do.
You were the light at the end of the tunnel for me, because winter was so long and dark and cold. Now there is light, glorious light, and the temperatures are actually above 0. Don't let winter push you around.Winter comes and people love it at first, until it overstays its welcome. I love winter around Christmas and New Years and February. After that, I'd prefer it go and come back later.
Plus, your coming, spring, is a sign of summer, which people ADORE. I love summer for the glorious, dazzling heat and the sheer freedom of everything, but I love spring because it means capris and sandals to school, no more boring jeans jeans jeans all the time. It means I can stop wearing scarves and toques and winter coats and mittens and boring blah runners and just wear not so much BULK. Spring means light when I wake up in the morning and until past 5 in the afternoon, it means it's not so bitingly cold. It means no more snow, more rain and flowers and leaves on trees. Spring is when everything wakes up, and right now, it just seems like it's sleeping in.
It's April. How much longer are you going to wait?
I'm right here, and trust me, I won't be the only one celebrating your arrival. So run as fast as you can.
yer pal,
swegan :)

CAMP LAME-O CAMPERS!!! warning: this may be boring, and filled with spoilers of my book. incase you actually wanted to read it.

oh my goodness, i love you so much.

So it's a long weekend and I've been editing camp lame-o 2, but i'm afraid it's just too cheesy to be salvaged. my sister said that people like cheesy stuff but they just say they don't, but... well... i'm not so sure. i can barely stand those cheesy local commercials you get on channels like citytv (come to the bead shop! we've got lots of beads! ugh, lol) because they're cheesy, which doesn't mean i secretly like them. but anyways. at least the first one is good! :D
kevin is still my favourite character because he's so funny. call me crazy for saying this, but i don't know where he comes up with this stuff. (this would be going back to my "my characters do stuff on their own" thing for which all my friends tried to tell me "no, you're making them do it.") and i love john because he turned out so different from what he was originally intended to be- so far from perfect, he's so insecure and capable of falling head over heels, which i didn't even know about him. i thought he was just this perfect guy who never did anything fun. and it turns out sam did have a brain, that he was sensitive and capable of caring. he just uses gross, perverted guy jokes to cover that up on the outside.
alana was supposed to act sweet but be tough, when in reality she's just tough and kind of mean, but she'll cooperate. it's not like she hates people, and once she's someone's friend she's really loyal. and then faith... she is so much more than she seemed. in the original camp lame-o she was really stupid and growing up, and thus in the second one she was so much more mature and grown up, but she only wants people to be happy (romantically, of course... that's why i made her matchmaker, haha) and she is very girly with her romanticizing everything, but that's why i love her. and yalee... i don't know. yalee kind of got all the boring traits so i don't really know about her yet. she's confused. she's a good person, though, just, she doesn't quite know what she wants yet, or something like that. katy is so shy, and she's JUST realizing that when you come out of your shell a little bit you can have lots of fun, and she has a way more outrageous personality than she seems to- she's actually full of life and feeling but she just hides it. (even with kevin, who tries so hard. i love that he made that soap heart- that was so cute.). and then whitney isn't insecure at all. her awesome outside isn't a cover up for anything. in camp lame-o i tried to paint it that she had this really insecure inside because no one liked her, but in reality, that's totally not true. whitney will be whitney, and nothing's going to stop that, and that's why people love her.
and then anne. she was the one who was really insecure. or at least she wasn't, but as camp wore on i kept seeing all these other bits and pieces of her that i hadn't seen before. she's a girl underneath all her basketball toughness, but she doesn't want that to be her main trait, so much that she just hides it all away. and then there was the whole thing with dave in the, er, other... camp.... and that was huge. that's how i found out a lot about her. like that she does have feelings.

then there were ryan and matt. matt is just... well, he's good with whitney because matt is matt, just like whitney is whitney. they're both sure of themselves and the other, which makes for a really solid relationship. ryan was okay in camp lame-o, but in the second one he got really confused too, which was probably what ended that relationship with another confused soul... i'm still not totally convinced, now that i re-read camp lame-o 2, that she does like john.
i was in a weird mood in november. plus, this is a nanowrimo novel, so no guarantees that it's going to be any good.

LEAVING FOR EUROPE A WEEK FROM TUESDAY, YAY!! hope i don't run into any bedbugs :\ or pickpockets. my parents are freaking out and making sure my sister and i know all the dangers of how pickpockets rob people.
me, i'm just looking forward to italy. it is about 27 degrees there right now. 27 DEGREES! that is so warm. so excited, eeee!!!!!
tmi about the campers, i know. but i had to tell SOMEone.
yer pal,
swegan :)

Dear New Follower:

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to read this :) it makes me feel interesting. And after all, it's good to feel interesting and not like some boring person who just puts out blah that nobody wants to read.
Also, it makes me think maybe my voice is entertaining to people. My voice, entertaining? Who woulda thunk it? It's not like I'm doing anything hard.
But anyway, welcome, because as long as I keep getting followers one at a time, I can keep writing welcome letters to you :)
So one at a time, please! Don't all follow at once!
Just kidding.
Oh, and thanks to michelle for the comment on the last entry :) I'm glad you think my blog is spunky.
yer pal,
swegan :)